A man dies and goes to Hell where he is greeted by the devil

[ublutwyche]

Devil: Hey, why are you bumming out?

Man: If you died and went to Hell, you''d be bumming out too.

Devil: Hell isn''t what you think it is. It's fun down here. Say, do you drink?

Man: Sure, I love to drink. Why?

Devil: Well, you''re gonna love Mondays then. Because on Mondays, all we do here is drink. Hell, we have whiskey, tiquila, rum, vodka, all the booze you want to drink. We drink til we puke then we drink more.

Man: Ah, that sounds great.

Devil: Do you smoke?

Man: Damn right I do.

Devil: Cool! You''re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world. Smoke all you want. You don''t have to worry about getting cancer because you''re already dead anyways.

Man: No shit!

Devil: You like gambling?

Man: Hell yeah!

Devil: Great! On Wednesdays, we have gambling night here in Hell. We have slot machines, roulette, craps, black jack, horse racing, you name it, we got it, and we just recently opened up a new pai gow poker table.

Man: Hmmmmmmmmmmm, I never played pai gow poker before.

Devil: Now you can. You like to get stoned?

Man: I love getting stoned! You mean...

Devil: That''s right man, because on Thursdays, it''s stoner night here in Hell! Help yourself to a huge bowl of crack, smoke a joint the size of a nuclear sub, do all the drugs you want and you don''t have to worry about overdosing because you''re already dead anyhow.

Man: Awesome! I never thought Hell was one swinging place!

Devil: Are you gay?

Man: Uh, no.

Devil: Oooh, you''re gonna hate Fridays!

[marshlander]

[matty7]

:biggrin: , i like that,,,,thx for makin me smile

[princealbertofb]

Yeah but Sean, what's up for the weekend???

[ublutwyche]

OK so I'll make up the rest... here goes

[...]
Devil: Are you gay?

Man: Uh, no.

Devil: Oooh, you''re gonna hate Fridays!

Man: Oh, dear God!

Devil: LANGUAGE! Don't mention that evil name down here. Now, have you heard of the seven deadly sins?

Man: Yes

Devil: Do you know what they are?

Man: Hell yes. greed, pride, envy, gluttony, lust, and sloth.

Devil: Correct. Well, on Saturdays, here in hell, we recommend indulging in each of these sins as they all lead physical, mental and emotional gratification.

Man: Awesome!

Devil: Well, since man's natural instincts lead him to sin, all men are sinners; and all sinners come here. If everyones comes here, then you will meet all your friends here. Heaven must be populated with some rather strange creatures if all they lived for was to go to a place where they can strum harps for eternity!

Man: *LAUGHS*

[...]

Can't think of anything for Sunday lol.

[princealbertofb]

I think the Devil's week only has 6 days... God kept the seventh day for himself.

[marshlander]

I'd restore Sunday as a day of rest. You'd need it after a hell of a week like that

[ublutwyche]

Thats solved that problem then! :biggrin:

[albabonzai]

I'd restore Sunday as a day of rest. You'd need it after a hell of a week like that

IN RESPONSE TO YOUR PUN............" 2 drums and a cymbol fall of a cliff.....boom, boom ching !! "

[marshlander]

I thank you