charlie monster raaa

[Mark]

-Too old :biggrin:

[marshlander]

im not ageist i just pefer ppl around my own age

This is a discussion forum, not a hook-up factory. Nothing wrong with preferring to be with people around your own age, but if older people make you uncomfortable this may not be the right site for you.

[CurtCB]

my ex is 15 years older than me. We started dating when I was 17. One day I woke up, realized that I had become my own person, and we had nothing in common. It's probably best to date someone your own age

[Mark]

:eek: 15 years is a big gap!

[sox-and-the-city]

I dunno, my parents have a 14 year age gap and they seem to be doing just fine. In fact, they're still together while several, more conventional, couples fell apart. In fact, many of my friends marvel at how my parents are sitll together.

Moral of the story: lighten up.

[fredv3b]

Personally, I think the difference between, say a 15 yr old and a 30 yr old is alot more than between a 30 yr old and a 45 yr old. So its a bit relative.

[Mark]

I think a 15 and 30 year old gap is much worse than at later in life.. Simply as the 15 year old is only starting life and living for himself where as the 30 year old would be settling and slowing down.. For me personally I think its important while younger to date younger.. Simply as you are at different levels in life.

[fudger]

My partner is 12 years older, he used to worry that he was too old for me, always thinking I would go off with someone younger but after 7 years I think he knows I'm a stayer
When I was 21 I had a 47 year old boy friend. That was possibly a too big a gap as we drifted appart but he is still a good friend and we chat online regularly.
A big gap at a young age is more difficult as the culture you are brought up in is so different. I mean here i was born in 1973 and he was born in 1947 only 2 years after the second world war. Also alot of people would frown apon such a relationship as such an age gap may look a little bit pervy but some of us prefer an older man.

[sox-and-the-city]

I dunno, i think quite a lot of it is to do with compatibilty. When i was younger older men gave me the attention i craved, so we both got something out of it. I found men who thought they could take advantage and mjaniplulated them so i got what i wanted. They even bought me stuff occasionally, which was nice. But i wasn't looking for any attachment other then i make sexy sexy if you make spendy spendy, so i guess that's different...

But like, there really aren't many guys my age who are into the same stuff i am or looking for anything similar to what i want, like, i'm quite nightmarish in a relationship setting and guys my age can't deal with it, which sucks, so i do sometimes consider going older. But now the older guys who are interested can't offer me what i want either, and weirdly i find it more pervy when an oldie comes on to me now because i make ti perfectly clear i don't want it.

I'm gonna end by changing my mind ever so slightly as while writing this i've come to the conclusion that it depends on how well the couple works, even on a purely aesthetic level a good couple look good together and that's okay. Actually, that makes my point sound really superficial. What i mean is that a good couple have a dynamic which makes it work in spite of the age gap. I'll cite my parents, who started dating when my mum (the younger) was not far into her twenties. They just work together. This is in stark contrast to my friend, who soon turns 21 and is dating a thirtysomething guy. It's creepy cos they don't have that same dynamic as a couple. They just don't look quite right together...

Really hope that comes across the way i want it to...

[marshlander]

It does

Those important attachments run so much deeper. Funny how many of our friends have commented on how much they enjoy the way PA and I are with each other.