Never satisfied

[doubletrouble]

I'm a man married for years to a woman, but I think almost exclusively of sex with other men. Even during sex with my wife, most often I imagine sex with a man. I'd like to discuss this predicament with other men or women in a similar predicament.

[ChadCoxRox]

Okay dbltbl! Welcome to GS.
Why is this actually a problem for you? Been there, done that, so I can definitely understand. If you want to talk about it this place is certainly willing to listen and try to support you with as little judgement as necessary...hopefully none at all! I told my wife years before we married that I was bi because she told me the same truth. Then about ten years later, after we'd lived together for years and got married, the matter of gay interest was basically ignored. I often enjoyed fantasizing of being with men and other women during sex but never acted out beyond that for many years. I did however cruise the internet collecting sexy photos. This collection was hidden very well but as the years went on it was ultimately found by my wife who reacted WAY over dramatically over the deceit to the degree that I left her. We were separated for six years before I divorced her. This was because I still loved her and wanted to reconcile AND I maintained custody and responsibility of our offspring. To cut it short, she was so very dysfunctional about every facet of her living and unable to work through our three different therapists to treat the matter responsibly. She maintained her fight or flight reaction to this very day. I was free after 21 years to "come out" again after being "out" a few years prior to meeting her. It has not been overly complicated for me, but very complex for others (mostly related to homophobia and ignorance). Anyhoo, you are NOT alone sir!

[doubletrouble]

We have no children together, so the relationship is not so complicated. We have a house together, and her granddaughter has always known me as "grandpa". I'm very attached to her now, but we have no shared responsibility for her. We're domestic partners and sleep in separate bedrooms, but we don't want divorce. She doesn't know I'm bi, and she definitely isn't. She has gay friends but finds homosexuality disgusting personally. If she knew I was bi, she might want a divorce, but I'm not sure. She gets something out of the relationship, and it's definitely not sex. We rarely have sex anymore.

[ChadCoxRox]

Doubletrouble, you have to hang around and post for like 50 times before you can add features to your forum use like inserting photos or link references. So be patient with that and post all the chat you want to reach that milestone with us. You are welcome henceforth no matter how little or how much you post.