Will bad health affect my love life?

[Anonymous]

I am a single gay guy and in my mid-thirties.

I have been suffering from GERD (acid reflux) for the past few years.

I can't eat spicy foods, fried foods, chocolate, sour and acidic foods like tomatoes, lemons, oranges etc.

I also have to sleep with my upper body in an uplifted position at night.

I always have to eat my food bland and boiled (like boiled vegetables, oatmeal etc.). I have to take my meals by 7pm and no supper after that.


Do you think I can have a normal love life with a partner in the future?

Most couples will go to restaurants and fast-food joints and enjoy all kinds of food. I mean food makes a big part of couples' life. They will go to fanciful restaurants for their anniversaries and Valentine's day. And eating supper is also something common among couples. Trying each others' food, taking photos of each other while enjoying their food.

But I am not able to do that. I have to avoid outside food because of my condition. I mean who would want a partner who can't even eat outside like a normal person right? 

It will affect their life too because they won't be able to eat out with me like other normal couples. Who would want someone like me who has to eat only bland food? Who would want someone like me who can't eat supper? Who would want someone like me who have to sleep in an abnormal position in bed?

To tell the truth, I feel frustrated that I am not able to eat what I want. I just feel like starving myself out of anger sometimes.


I have also read that GERD can affect one's sex life. I won't be able to have "hardcore" sex like others. I even find slight difficulty in masturbation nowadays.

I just feel like most people in this world would want "hardcore" sex with multiple complicated sex positions in their relationship. 

I don't think any partner would want to put up with me (who can't try out anything "sexually intense"). Who would want a partner like me who can't do this and can't do that during sex? 

Do you think it's better that I choose to be single and celibate in my life? Sometimes I feel like I am desiring for something that is not meant for me (love relationship).

I just feel depressed that this GERD disease has messed up my life.

[InbetweenDreams]

I am a single gay guy and in my mid-thirties.

I have been suffering from GERD (acid reflux) for the past few years.

I can't eat spicy foods, fried foods, chocolate, sour and acidic foods like tomatoes, lemons, oranges etc.

I also have to sleep with my upper body in an uplifted position at night.

I always have to eat my food bland and boiled (like boiled vegetables, oatmeal etc.). I have to take my meals by 7pm and no supper after that.

All the same here. I think GERD/acid reflux is pretty common. I definitely have to avoid certain foods, or combinations of foods. Like I can drink a beer or two (maybe three) and not have any problems, but add in food of any kind (stuff like pizza is worse) I get acid reflux bad. Same with dairy, mostly things like milks, ice cream, milk shakes. If I have that stuff too late in the day I may wake up with it coming out of my nose and sometimes choke on it in my sleep. Very unpleasant. Needless to say I have to absolutely avoid certain things.

Do you think I can have a normal love life with a partner in the future?

Absolutely.

Most couples will go to restaurants and fast-food joints and enjoy all kinds of food. I mean food makes a big part of couples' life. They will go to fanciful restaurants for their anniversaries and Valentine's day. And eating supper is also something common among couples. Trying each others' food, taking photos of each other while enjoying their food.

But I am not able to do that. I have to avoid outside food because of my condition. I mean who would want a partner who can't even eat outside like a normal person right? 

Sure food is major part of our lives. Does taking a bite of something that you avoid cause a lot of problems? I know that me personally, a bite or two of something won't cause me too much problems, especially if it's early.

Not sure I understand why this prevents you from eating outside? Not sure if I am missing something but GERD isn't anything to be ashamed of, same with not ordering it spicy like everyone else.

It will affect their life too because they won't be able to eat out with me like other normal couples. Who would want someone like me who has to eat only bland food? Who would want someone like me who can't eat supper? Who would want someone like me who have to sleep in an abnormal position in bed?

To tell the truth, I feel frustrated that I am not able to eat what I want. I just feel like starving myself out of anger sometimes.

I don't think GERD means you have to eat bland food. Just means you have to avoid certain things, doesn't mean you have to eat flavorless food or occasionally cheat here and there if you are able to take antacids like tums or perscription.

I don't feel that your having to sleep upright is unusual either. Is supper typically something you have later than 7 PM? I would think 7 PM for supper is a tad late and I know people who eat early like 4-5 PM and some who eat 9-10 PM at night.

I feel like you're catastrophizing here to be honest.

I have also read that GERD can affect one's sex life. I won't be able to have "hardcore" sex like others. I even find slight difficulty in masturbation nowadays.

I just feel like most people in this world would want "hardcore" sex with multiple complicated sex positions in their relationship. 

I don't think any partner would want to put up with me (who can't try out anything "sexually intense"). Who would want a partner like me who can't do this and can't do that during sex? 

Do you think it's better that I choose to be single and celibate in my life? Sometimes I feel like I am desiring for something that is not meant for me (love relationship).

I just feel depressed that this GERD disease has messed up my life.

I don't know that many people have "hard care" sex outside of porn. Perhaps you should explain what hard core sex is to you? I mean I don't think that many people would require you to hang upside down from a sex swing while sucking their dick? That aside, I have never heard that about GERD though. My advice, just don't eat at the buffet before having sex.

I really think you're overthinking the issue. Having GERD is nothing to worry about and is something that really won't matter if the guy you're dating really likes you. This is not like bad spending habits, not holding a job, not taking a bath, being rude, cheating on your partner and so on.

Now I don't know how things are in other cultures, but my view as a westerner is GERD is small potatoes. For instance the guy I had been dating for the last year has psoriasis. That's where you have these red, scaly rashes that develop all over your body, had it on his side, arm, in his scalp. It never bothered me. I was more worried that he felt self-conscious about it.

[CellarDweller]

I can only echo what @InbetweenDreams said. As long as you manage your health, I can't see it as being a roadblock to having an effect on your love life.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your replies @InbetweenDreams and @CellarDweller

All the same here. I think GERD/acid reflux is pretty common. I definitely have to avoid certain foods, or combinations of foods. Like I can drink a beer or two (maybe three) and not have any problems, but add in food of any kind (stuff like pizza is worse) I get acid reflux bad. Same with dairy, mostly things like milks, ice cream, milk shakes. If I have that stuff too late in the day I may wake up with it coming out of my nose and sometimes choke on it in my sleep. Very unpleasant. Needless to say I have to absolutely avoid certain things.


Sure food is major part of our lives. Does taking a bite of something that you avoid cause a lot of problems? I know that me personally, a bite or two of something won't cause me too much problems, especially if it's early.

Not sure I understand why this prevents you from eating outside? Not sure if I am missing something but GERD isn't anything to be ashamed of, same with not ordering it spicy like everyone else.

I'm sorry to hear that you have GERD too. I feel bad that you had to experience those unpleasant symptoms after taking dairy food. Do you experience the same if you consume vegan milk, vegan ice cream etc. (like non-dairy based) ?

If it is spicy food, even a spoonful of that food would start making me uncomfortable. I will start having pain around my chest area.

For fried food, it's not that bad. I can only take a very small amount, like a few pieces of fries. If I take more than that, I will start having pain around my chest area too.

Yes, you are right. I can order a salad and a plain drink that are not acidic in restaurants. I think it is the fear that I might not control myself and start ordering spicy and fried foods to eat out of temptation in the restaurant. And I might feel bad looking at other diners able to eat what they want but I have to restrict myself on what I can order. I think this is why I feel hesitant to eat outside in restaurants.

I don't think GERD means you have to eat bland food. Just means you have to avoid certain things, doesn't mean you have to eat flavorless food or occasionally cheat here and there if you are able to take antacids like tums or perscription.

I don't feel that your having to sleep upright is unusual either. Is supper typically something you have later than 7 PM? I would think 7 PM for supper is a tad late and I know people who eat early like 4-5 PM and some who eat 9-10 PM at night.

I feel like you're catastrophizing here to be honest.

Yes, I usually have supper around 11pm. Actually, there is no fixed supper time. I always keep munching on something that I can find in the kitchen after dinner until bed time lol. But this is before I have GERD. Nowadays, I take my dinner latest by 7pm and no more food after that for the night.

I don't know that many people have "hard care" sex outside of porn. Perhaps you should explain what hard core sex is to you? I mean I don't think that many people would require you to hang upside down from a sex swing while sucking their dick? That aside, I have never heard that about GERD though. My advice, just don't eat at the buffet before having sex.

I really think you're overthinking the issue. Having GERD is nothing to worry about and is something that really won't matter if the guy you're dating really likes you. This is not like bad spending habits, not holding a job, not taking a bath, being rude, cheating on your partner and so on.

Now I don't know how things are in other cultures, but my view as a westerner is GERD is small potatoes. For instance the guy I had been dating for the last year has psoriasis. That's where you have these red, scaly rashes that develop all over your body, had it on his side, arm, in his scalp. It never bothered me. I was more worried that he felt self-conscious about it.

"I mean I don't think that many people would require you to hang upside down from a sex swing while sucking their dick?"

Lol, this statement made my day hahahahaha.

I will discuss about the sex part in a new thread on this weekend.

I think it's just that I can't eat what I want to in a carefree manner which makes me feel bad.

Most food from my culture are spicy and contain tomatoes and tamarind. I can't take most of the foods now. But it's okay. We have to make small sacrifices if we want to maintain our health in the long run.

[calgor]

Have you seen a doctor about your problem with GERD?

[InbetweenDreams]

I'm certainly not a doctor but I wonder if you don't have something more serious than GERD. Do you take antacids? Some you take before your meals and in my experience those tend to work really well. Yeah, it is strange about dairy and no if it is non-dairy doesn't bother me. Of course eating late for me (7 PM would be late for me lol) is almost always bad, same with overeating. Ah overeating, it's the American way lol.

But do consider seeing your doctor, if you have stomach pain like that makes me wonder if you don't have an ulcer or something else wrong. My problems are really because I can't put a fork down....although here lately I have been...slightly better.

[Anonymous]

Have you seen a doctor about your problem with GERD?

I'm certainly not a doctor but I wonder if you don't have something more serious than GERD. Do you take antacids? Some you take before your meals and in my experience those tend to work really well. Yeah, it is strange about dairy and no if it is non-dairy doesn't bother me. Of course eating late for me (7 PM would be late for me lol) is almost always bad, same with overeating. Ah overeating, it's the American way lol.

But do consider seeing your doctor, if you have stomach pain like that makes me wonder if you don't have an ulcer or something else wrong. My problems are really because I can't put a fork down....although here lately I have been...slightly better.

Thank you for your reply @InbetweenDreams and @calgor

I have seen the doctor a few times before. They always prescribe me anticids and PPIs. Are there over-the-counter antacids available which are to be consumed before meals? The ones I have taken so far are for after meals.

[InbetweenDreams]

There are over the counter antacids which are more of the same types of medications, just not going to be as strong. I think some of those you can take before meals, like the PPI's.

[calgor]

Have you seen a doctor about your problem with GERD?

I'm certainly not a doctor but I wonder if you don't have something more serious than GERD. Do you take antacids? Some you take before your meals and in my experience those tend to work really well. Yeah, it is strange about dairy and no if it is non-dairy doesn't bother me. Of course eating late for me (7 PM would be late for me lol) is almost always bad, same with overeating. Ah overeating, it's the American way lol.

But do consider seeing your doctor, if you have stomach pain like that makes me wonder if you don't have an ulcer or something else wrong. My problems are really because I can't put a fork down....although here lately I have been...slightly better.

Thank you for your reply @InbetweenDreams and @calgor

I have seen the doctor a few times before. They always prescribe me anticids and PPIs. Are there over-the-counter antacids available which are to be consumed before meals? The ones I have taken so far are for after meals.

PPI's are designed to be taken once a day when you wake up. The thing with them is that they don't provide immediate relief. All the information I've seen is that they take up to 14 days to kick in, bur once they do are the best available treatment for GERD.

Another option is acid blockers like Tagamet and Pepcid which are taken once or twice a day,
generally a half hour before a meal. In extreme cases I believe you can combine PPI's and acid blockers, but you should probably discuss that with your doctor.

By the was has your doctor ever suggested an endoscopy? This would determine if you're dealing with something more than just GERD. For example a hiatal hernia can create a lot of digestive discomfort.

[Anonymous]

PPI's are designed to be taken once a day when you wake up. The thing with them is that they don't provide immediate relief. All the information I've seen is that they take up to 14 days to kick in, bur once they do are the best available treatment for GERD.

Another option is acid blockers like Tagamet and Pepcid which are taken once or twice a day,
generally a half hour before a meal. In extreme cases I believe you can combine PPI's and acid blockers, but you should probably discuss that with your doctor.

By the was has your doctor ever suggested an endoscopy? This would determine if you're dealing with something more than just GERD. For example a hiatal hernia can create a lot of digestive discomfort.

Sorry for my late reply. Yes, I was suggested to take endoscopy by the doctor. But I just feel scared of what might be the outcome of the endoscopy.