Husbands and their porn habits?

[eastofeden]

I have been with my husband for over 30 years now .

My suggestion - share it with him. My husband has a turn on that doesn't particularly turn me on BUT - HE turns me on so I get into it with him. It doesn't threaten me at all.

Fantasies are natural and normal but the shame associated with anything sexual in our much too puritanical society is alive and well so alot of times people feel they need to hide it from their partners and they shame and guilt themselves.

[PettyPet]

How do these conversations start that make him feel attacked? Then again he might be apprehensive about sharing that too, kind of like getting caught jerking off when you're a teenager perhaps..


Thanks for your response. In answer to your question, I'll ask him about what turns him on and try to suggest watching porn together which he never wants to do. I've then tried to ask in a serious conversation and he just says he feels like he's cornered. I'm a tad confused as to why he won't share it with me as I've shared porn with him.

[PettyPet]

I have been with my husband for over 30 years now .

My suggestion - share it with him. My husband has a turn on that doesn't particularly turn me on BUT - HE turns me on so I get into it with him. It doesn't threaten me at all.

Fantasies are natural and normal but the shame associated with anything sexual in our much too puritanical society is alive and well so alot of times people feel they need to hide it from their partners and they shame and guilt themselves.

I've tried that several times but he never wants to engage in watching porn together. It's always responses like not this time or let's do it next time. What do you think I should do? I'm trying hard to understand but I feel locked out of something.

[CellarDweller]

Porn can be a healthy outlet.

However, I think you need to talk to him, because you are feeling locked out of something.