(Me M23 him M25) I feel like I’ve ruined everything

[RogerUwU]

I met this guy on a dating app, we made a match, I thought he was cute in his pics and had common interests with me on his bio. We started talking and confirmed we had a lot in common, so we exchanged numbers and continued talking. We said he liked the way I thought about certain things, and we basically had some interest in each other. We asked each other what we were looking for, I said that I wanted something like a friend with benefits and wasn’t actively looking for a boyfriend, he said he wasn’t looking for one either because he was recovering from a breakup, he changed his mind later and said that he found me to be cute and wanted to try something with me. So, I invited him out to watch Kung fu Panda 4, we went there had a good time but couldn’t chat a lot, we were both nervous, all I could do was lean on his shoulder during the movie lol. We kept talking every day, next time I invited him to my house to watch some videos about a game, at some point I put my hand on his knee, because I wanted to be closer to him, then he held my hand as we kept watching videos, then we moved to sit on my bed, so we could be closer, we hugged and then I kissed him on the cheek, then he kissed me on the lips, we made out a bit and then it was time for him to go, we told each other that we had a good time that day. We also had a date in a mall, had some sushi and walked around holding hands. The next time we went out we went to an anime convention and then went to his house, we had a good time in the convention but at his house we ended up doing more than just playing Nintendo switch if you get what I mean, it wasn’t planned but I like it. After that day he started posting couples things tagging me, sharing TikTok’s about couple things, giving me pet names, gave me some origami and a letter, and saying things like I like you, you make me happy, you’re the only thing that makes me happy, sharing and saying things like It’s already set in that we are going to spend a lot of time together as something serious. The casual compliments and cheesiness were cute at first, but this kind of made me feel overwhelmed at some point, we haven’t been talking even a month and he was already like this, but he was so sweet so it kind of made me feel forced to respond to these feelings and forms of love coming from him. I have never been in a relationship so this was all new for me, all I could say was thanks and wow you’re so sweet with me. Next time, I went to his house, and we had sex, as we planned, it was good because I had some trust in him, so it made me feel more comfortable, we even started sexting sometimes. In the last occasion I went to his house again to watch a movie, we did have some sex but ended up watching to movie anyways. But that night I started to think where this relationship was going, its weird but he is what I think is my type and treats me nicely, shows interest in me and things I like, which I really like in someone, but I just don’t feel those feeling like he does to me, those feelings you feel when you like someone in a romantic way. I told him all of this and ended up deciding to end things there in terms of chasing something serious, but I can’t shake the feeling that I ruined something good, feel guilty too, but I also think can I even peruse something serious if I don’t have those same feelings? It doesn’t feel right to do so, why can’t I just like him that way? Do I need more time? Did I feel intimidated for his feelings?

[Cridders88]

Hi @RogerUwU

From what you've said, he did seem a bit full on as time went on, despite you saying you weren't looking for a relationship. It sounds like you weren't ready for that, and if things carried on it may have got messy later if you didn't have the feelings he did. I actually have a friend that went through a very similar thing with a guy recently, she ended it too as she felt things were going too fast from his side. You can't force romantic feelings, he just wasn't right for you. I'd say after a month or so of dating, you get a feel as to whether you want to take things into a relationship. It just wasn't meant to be.