I need advice so desperately

[PanosK]

Hi everyone!

I’m currently facing some issues with my partner regarding sex. First of all we an age gap relationship. I’m 26 yo and he is 56yo we are having a great time together we love each other we are together almost 2 years. The sex in the beginning was nice and he would give me head I could tell he wasn’t a big fun but it’s something I love having during sex. Nowadays he refuses he is only laying on bed like a starfish (pillow prince) and we jerk it’s other barely kiss. It feels awful everytime I try to talk to him about it he is putting a wall he changes subject or playing victim. He won’t even touch my penis. But he wants me to do all the things he doesn’t want to do to him. I stopped giving him what he wants just to show him what it feels like. Sometimes I’ll stop the sex but it doesn’t seem to affect him as it does to me. Before you tell me to break up I have to mention besides sex life everything else is perfect! 
Thank you in advance!!!

[IanSaysHi]

Hey

Communication is key! It sounds like you have tried to talk about it but he doesn’t want to. However for the relationship to work he needs to listen to you. He might not be able to agree to everything you want BUT he should be willing to listen so you can hopefully come to some sort of compromise. Although everything else in the relationship is perfect, this part has reached the point where you are now changing your behaviour to ‘show him what it feels like’. This could lead to bigger resentment and build more of a wedge between you as time goes on.

Tell him plainly that you want to talk. Start by saying you are happy with every other aspect of the relationship, but he needs to at least listen to your feelings about the current sex situation. Ask him what he does enjoy, if there is anything in particular that could help him get more active again. Stress that it is important you work together so you BOTH get sexual pleasure, otherwise it could end up damaging the relationship.

If he flat out refuses to talk or at least listen to you about it then this is not just a sex issue but a communication issue, so he will be letting you down in two areas.

Wish you all the best!

Ian

[PanosK]

Thank you very much Ian!
You are right communication is key. I acted immature but I hope if we talk it can get somewhere! Again thanks for clearing out the fog for me!