I desire to come out--

[lategayer]

I came to understand I was Gay late. Grew up in macho man culture and never thought I could ever be Gay. The last thought I had was that I was Gay, until I started watching porn and by accident hit a gay site. Before I could get off, I found myself interested -- I could not believe it. This 6'4 /215 macho man married man, got excited sexually. I became to watch Gay porn--hiding from my wife. Joined a online Gay pick up site, which gave locations where one could meet a Gay man. I went to a location and after a few visits to this one site, a young man "eyed" me and I returned the look that I had been told to do so. The young man proceeded to walk into a wooded area, and I followed him. As, I caught up with him, the young man had taken off clothes and continued to walk, as I followed. I was totally aroused by his beautiful ass, and I begin to think was this really happening to this macho married man. The young man led me to spot where he stopped and i approached him. I was totally aroused, and this macho man married man got on his knees and looking up to this smiling young man, as he put his penis it my mouth and placed his hands on my head and thrust his penis in my mouth, as i eagerly began to suck on his penis giving me the greatest sensation I have ever had as he trust his penis deep into my mouth. He eventually unloaded his cum in my mouth and enjoyed every bit of his semen. From that day forward despite fighting the admission. I was a Gay man and probably always was. We met up another time, but unfortunately, I lost contact with him. Eventually I got a divorced and began to have many more sexual encounters, denying I was totally gay. It became impossible to deny after repeatedly going to an adult book site and on one occasion I had four sexual encounters in that one day. I remain in the closet and continue to have problems coming out. One problem I do not have and that is I am totally Gay, despite trying to ignore I am Gay. I need this forum to communicate with fellow Gays, as I remain in the closet.