Confession from a long time ago...

[Anonymous]

Shit this happened like 9 years ago now but i've felt too bad about it to tell anyone!
when i was a kid i had a really sweet girlfriend, who i loved, like a lot. But I was kind of starting out with my bisexuality, and I ended up spending the night loads of times with her best guy friend. I was so young, and I used to be really naive and think I was just going for a 'sleepover', but it would end in giving each other hand jobs, and even further sometimes. I felt like shit that i was the first for this girl, and she assumed it was the same back, but the first time i ever came was for this guy.
Ah, don't judge me, i just needed to get that off my chest. i still feel so bad, even nearly 10 years down the line

[CurtCB]

I don't really see why you feel guilty. You are bi and attracted to both sexes.what you did was totally natural.
If your girlfriend didn't want to be your first then she wouldn't have had sex with you. I think if you would have told her you had been with a guy she would have told other people and I doubt you were old enough to deal with everyone knowing you were bi at that point in your life.
Do you still talk to this girl?

[peterinmalaga]

Why should we judge you? We have all done things we are or should be ashamed of. And most of us find being faithful a problem from time to time. That's just the way we were made.

[marshlander]

Not a great deal you can do about it now. I'm sure you have more important stuff going on.

The only use the guilt has may have might be in making you think twice before you get into another situation you know you're going to regret in the morning?

[Anonymous]

Hey - thanks guys
I appreciate your comments.
I wasnt look for sympathy, I just needed to vent. I have totally learned my lesson, and have never cheated since (and hope i never will again). i still talk to the girl - she's one of my best friends. she still doesnt know. this is why the guilt was still consuming me
cheers guys

[CurtCB]

Hey - thanks guys
I appreciate your comments.
I wasnt look for sympathy, I just needed to vent. I have totally learned my lesson, and have never cheated since (and hope i never will again). i still talk to the girl - she's one of my best friends. she still doesnt know. this is why the guilt was still consuming me
cheers guys

I still don't get why you feel guilty?
Unless she is your wife. Is that the case?
I always thought being gay was hard, but it seems it is nothing compared to being bi.
Being bi seems to be so complicated.

[peterinmalaga]

You write: “I have totally learned my lesson, and have never cheated since (and hope i never will again).” If people “totally” learn lessons, why does history repeat itself so much and why do relationships have a 50:50 chance of surviving? My dad used to say to me “If you are not in bed by 11 o’clock, you had better come home!” It sounds to me that you have a habit of being hard on yourself. We are programmed to be unfaithful: our job is to propagate the species and bis and heteros do it quite well. Gay men are normally not so good in doing their biological duty. So nobody’s perfect. It may well turn out that you are never unfaithful again but my crystal ball is still in for repairs, so who knows. It is human to strive for perfection but only the gods achieve it. Dad also used to say “If you can’t be good, be careful.”