Don't know what to do

[metallica chick]

Okay, so, yes i'm a female and i've been in relationships with women and men, my last relationship was with a man. We started out friends, then moved to friends with benefits, then we started dating. Things were going great, I truly loved him with all of my heart and soul, and opening up to people, mainly men, was a big thing for me. There's an age difference between me and him, i'm 19 and he's 26.
Things started going downhill about 3 months ago, we faught alot, over stupid things, and then the worst happened. He called me like a normal night, except he was drunk. It started out fine, and then we started arguing. He then preceeded to insult me, threw out all my flaws, and said he didn't want to be with me anymore and hung up the phone. That threw me competely off guard, of course I cried, ripped up the pictures blah blah that sad shit. Woke up the next morning expecting him to call me, like he would have done a month ago, apologize and try to make things right again. Nothing. A whole week goes by, and nothing. Finally he calls me up from a grocery store saying "you called..?" I'm like..uh..YEAH I did.. He pretended like nothing happened, that we never dated and were just friends. About a week later I showed up at his work to give him some of his stuff back, which was a DVD which was his fathers, and a t shirt he gave me a while back. He told me to keep the t shirt that it looked better on me than him, and sent me on my way.
Few days later I returned up at his work to order some food, he works in a pizza shop, and we talked normal. When I left he gave me a long hug and a kiss on the cheek, which seems like okay! yay! he still likes me.

Last night, he calls me up, piss ass drunk, screaming at me for no reason. Calling me all sorts of names, saying that it was the last conversation we'll ever have that I'm stupid, immature, fucked up in the head you name it he said it. Finally I hung up on him.

I still want to be with him, even after all that, and I know he regrets calling me like he did last night. But he never admits it. I'm trying to move on but it's hard, almost a year of being with somebody can do alot.
He never cheated on me, and I never cheated on him, I don't believe in cheating.
But I'm just curious, after that phone call what should I do?

You probably don't understand what happened all too well, and it's a long ass post, but I figured somebody would have some advice.
He's not a bad guy, not at all, he just has a drinking problem. He'd be perfect if he didn't drink a lot everyday. I just don't know what to do. -sigh-

[marshlander]

It would be so nice if we could just fix things, but I don't think this is something that can be fixed by anyone but him. So, he drinks and loses control of his tongue. Even if you were able to put the relationship back together how long would it be before he lost control of something else, perhaps his hands? Whatever you feel about him, I can't help thinking you may just have had a lucky escape. :frown:

Best wishes to you.

[ardus]

Perhaps I can offer some insight here
I have a drinking problem, and I have an anger problem, and unfortunately, I often take things out on those that I care about the most. I recently got into a terrible fight with a woman whom I have been in love with in the past and since then we've been close friends. I don't know what to say about why things like this happen. It's a problem that people like me have where we don't deal with our stress and pain and anger in positive ways and it builds and we explode on people we care about. I don't know if your man has the same problem I have but it wouldn't surprise me. As far as advice on how to proceed I can't offer much except to say that if you're going to try to keep things going be prepared to have a lot more of this type of thing before it gets better, as its not an easy thing to fix.
Richard

[peterinmalaga]

Your analysis of your relationship with this guy clearly shows that you are no dumb blond. But you need to be careful here. You sound as though you might be getting addicted to the emotional rollercoaster that this man is putting you through. Sure, he loves you and he regrets his bad behaviour when he is sober. But you do not have a choice here. It’s not a question of either Mr Sober or Mr Drunk. They are one and the same person. Ardus/Richard has given you some invaluable insider information. Things are not going to change for a long time. Is that what you want? Your greatest assets are your self respect and self esteem. My feeling is that you will have kissed goodbye to those assets way before this guy changes. I wish you lots of luck and also lots of emotional strength. One last thought: If he ever starts hitting you, leave straight away, if you value your sanity and your life. So sorry to sound pessimistic but you deserve much better than this.

[spirito_gab]

I would have a conversation with him. A proper conversation.

[forwardtherapy]

Is this relationship with him going to be a couple or a "thriple"- you, him and alcohol?

[metallica chick]

Hey guys, haven't been on here at all, my laptop is still under construction, but fixed shortly so yay! I have some updates with that situation.
Basically, I gave him the option to either live life drunk and without me, or get it together and be happy.
Well, he's almost quit drinking. He has never hit me and he never will, if anything I hit him haha. But we are happy, and working day by day to make our relationship stronger, and if things don't work out, they just don't.

I do want a girlfriend though. He's interested only if I let him sleep with her, Which I don't feel comfortable with him screwing another chick. Besides, i'm only into lesbians so they wouldn't want a cock anyways.

So my current goal is to find my own little playtoy. (:
Maybe i'll have a steamy new story for you all later?
Till then, xoxo.

[Josh77]

Good luck with your new relationship... I am sure it will be interesting