Big Crush but dont know if he is gay HELP PLEASE

[alberich305]

Hi everyone, so i have this huge problem.

I really fall hard for this guy DANNY (yeah thats his name hehe) and to this date i don't know if he is completely straight, bicurious or gay in denial, he has been giving me mixed signals and is driving me CRAZY. I'm going to start for the beginning to see what do you guys think. Is a long story but PLEASE read it because is complicated and all the facts are key in my confusion wheter he is or not gay.

Ive met him since 2 years ago, in college.

The first time i saw him he was sitting in class and i noticed how gorgeous he is, blond guy, who has a very define and hot body, he plays soccer so he have great legs, and a really great butt (it gets a lot of attention from the girls and gays), he isn't very tall, but his face is AMAZING, everybody says hes the cutest guy ever.

I only noticed his beauty at first, but didn't get any gay vibes, plus i wasn't looking for someone and the whole bunch of girls going crazy for him didn't make me pay him attention.

The first year i hardly talk to him, he seemed like a dumb sports guy. All the girls are flirting with him was so pathetic, but he doesn't pays attention to none of them, and some are like really hot. I was getting really tired of how many commented on how hot he is, and i couldn't say anything because i was in the closet.

The second year my best friend, Katherine had a crush on the guy, and i was very interested in these two being together, because Kat told me everything about her, we always talked about our sex lives and everything, so call me pathetic, but this guy is so hot that even hearing how sex with him is and how he is down there was a turn on for me, yeah i know weird.

So they started flirting, he flirt with her a lot, but when she made a move he would totally like back off or ignore her. She even tried to invite him to the movies or something and he totally blew her off. So she got really mad and started ignoring him.

So he started going after her know that he was being ignore, but she was so mad that she decide to blow him off forever after numerous let down by the guy.

This second year was very hard for me, i was very unhappy being in the closet, after some months i came to term with my sexuality and really start to accept myself as a gay man, i was very shy and hardly talk to anyone before, i was always and outsider in conversations, because everyone always talked about relationships and being on the closet i couldn't share anything. Until i decided i wasnt going to care about what people said anymore.

I cut all of my hair, i used to have a normal boring haircut, think Steve Carrel from The Office, and then i got like this Justin Timberlake in Sexyback era haircut.

So i went to the class, and Danny stares at me as i go to say hello, looks me in the eyes smiles and says nice haircut it looks good on you. Wich i tough was really weird because straight guys dont usually comment about others guys haircuts and specially not in that way, i didnt paid him attention and tough i was crazy or missunderstood the situation, it was just a compliment after all.

We started sitting together in class, and when they gave us lots of projects in a particular class that we always did it together in groups of four always the 2 of us but with random other 2 people, we didnt care as long as we were in the same group. We joke a lot doing this assigments and laugh a lot, we connected more than the others in the group, and i started getting this feelings because whenever we talk he would do it staring at my eyes in such a lovely way i cant describe it.

One day i buy some really fancy chocolates and for some reason, in the classroom waiting for the proffesor i gave one to him, he grab it and said very excited for me, "wow thats so sweet, thanks so much, youre amazing", in a way like he was pleasently surprise. I never forget the way he took it, it was like if i was giving him a christmas present or something. I still wastn thinking anything other than he was sooo cute that he was just being friendly.

Then that same day we were talking about things, and for some reason i talk to him about his facial hair because some of them are a little red, just a few. And i told him thats curious and is only in the jaw. He tells me not i have some in my head too, but it doesnt shows so much. And well down there is only blond hair hehe, he said with a naughty look, not as a joke but as flirting. The way he said it was sooo hot, that i still cant get it out of my mind.

I couldnt believe this sports guy soccer fan, was doing this "flirting" surely i was going crazy, so i commented to my friend Katherine who said maybe youre seeing things that arent and i commented to other friend Anne who told me i dont know maybe youre right because he does gives me the gay vibe, and every girls always hit on him and nothing NO GIRLFRIEND, NO SEX no NOTHING. He only used to talk about a girlfriend who lived far and practically never came, and then after a while they suddenly break up, all before i was being close with him, and he never mention me that "girlfriend", someone saw a photo of the girl with him and said to me that she was model like.

I invited him over my house with my 2 friends. I told Katherine and Anne, im going to really flirt with him today, and you girls tell me if im crazy and im seing things that arent.

We go out in his car, and he tells me to sit in the front with him, wich i taugh was weird because there were 2 girls, it wasnt polite. But is was happy that he ask me hehehe

Then we go to eat before going to my house, and he buys me lunch without i even ask him, he just tell me i invited you please. I was really surprised because he never buy anything for no one, all the girls used to talk about how cheap he was and that he never bought any of them nothing not even water at campus.

We joke all the time we were eating and didnt pay attention to the rest of the group, and again really hitting on me, and i was flirting with him all the way.

We got to my house and we continue talking a lot, i commented on how cute his necklace was, and i start grabbing it and playing with him while we were sitting on my bed and the girls were in the computer next to us. I touch his neck gently and he doesnt stop me at all, or do nothing he just continues talking, then i tell him i really like it please give it to me, and he says take it is yours, and it unlocked from his neck and put it on mine. I was feeling like floating, plus it was so sexy touching his neck.

After that Anne was looking at me like omg, then she and i go to the kitchen to get drinks, and she tell me ok this guy is totally hitting on you, i cant believe it, i tough it was small but come on he is sooo gay.

We continue all afternoon and he completely ignores the other girls, he tells me please can we play nintendo together, common just you and me. The girls got bored but he didnt care.

The girls were really surprise, because i started giving him hints and comments that are playfull like in that inicial stage of two people meeting, dating 101, winks, everything you can think of.

We continue the following weeks to get closer and closer, he gave me rides to my home even tought it isnt close to his house, and i found it weird because he refuse to let anyone on his car, not even when he was flirting with Katherine he ever gave her rides, she used to hate him for that.

We became a duo, and start hanging all the time but only in the university, Katherine started to get like jealous and wasnt talking much with me.

Then i started noticing how his soccer group of friends started noticing we were spending so much time together, and is not like if im straight acting im a normal gay guy, with a normal gaydar you should be able to tell im gay.

One day out of nowhere he gives me a present, a really nice pen, really cool.

One day a gay friend of mine came to college, and he knew everything about Danny and i introduce the 2 of them, and then my friend told me ithat he was totally getting gay vibes from the guy, he told me that it was the way he treats me and acts around me, that he really care for me and not friend like.

We never talk about dating or relationships, we just joke and talk a lot about nothing and everyday, he isnt a very smart or deep guy, but he is soooo sweeet as a kid, he has that innocense but sometimes he has his naughty side.

One day some guy i barely talk to look at him as he was far, and he says that he hates Danny because he is so conceided plus that he has always picture him as a closeted gay. I didnt said anything i was sooo surprise that someone mentioned that, that more and more people were talking about him possibly being gay.

We came back to my house with 2 friends (girl and boy), and then it was getting late and the girl had to go, so they all went but he look at me and said i really dont want to go, but he offered to give them a ride home, he told me are you going to be ok without me, i said nope, well maybe i should give you a picture of me for this moments so you dont feel bad and he wink at me as he was leaving, again all of these in fronts of other people who arent really close to him or me.

So i decided once and for all im going to invite him to my house JUST THE TWO OF US, all alone because no one was going to be in my house that day, i tell him and he says yes how awesome, i think is cool we go after class.

That day i was soooo HAPPY and over the moon, everything was going great and that day i was going to kiss him no matter what, i see him in the morning and he is totally on board with the idea, we didnt had the same classes that morning, so i dont see him the whole morning and all i did was to think of him like crazy at this moment i noticed how much i like him i couldnt concentrate at class or nothing else.

i got out of class and go to see him, and he is looking bored and unexcited, i was ready to go to his car and go to my house, but he starts telling me that he is tired and doesnt want to do anything today, im shocked how can he say that what change in the morning, he isnt making any eye contact with me and starts acting strange and blowing me off, i tell him please almost beg him to go, that we already had plan to spent the afternoon, but he tells me hey maybe tomorrow, i tell him tomorrow at what time, he says i dont know ill call you, at that moment i knew he didnt want anything to do with me.

That weekend was awful, he didnt call me or text me nothing, i cry like crazy i didnt understand, what happen??, was he afraid?, did his friends gave him a bad time because he was going to a gay guy house?, was overeacting? and he was just tired.

The next week he started to avoid me and act all indiferent, he walk away. He started missing some class we had together.

I am so mad at him that i dont talk to him at all and still havent talk to him, its been months without talking. And i cant stop thinking about him, is like he hunts me in my mind,.

The fact is that i dont know why he acted like that, i want to confront him but part of me is hurt, part of me is afraid he rejects me, part of me doesnt want to be with someone who is a gay in the closet, and other part thinks im just a crazy gay guy in love with a straight guy and that i scare him off pushing him or wanting to be more than just friends.

Right now i think the best is to move on, am i crazy or maybe straight guys dont act like that and he is in denial of being gay, i mean someone so Handsome and hoy with thousand of girls at his feets and he turns all of them away and doesnt pays attention to none, and the most attention anyone has seem him do is towards me.

Those talks we had were totally flirting, he always looked at me directly to the eyes, and straight guys dont do that at all.

What do you guys and girls think?????

[marshlander]

Sorry it hasn't worked out for you at the moment. You make him sound like he is gay, but there are obviously other things going on in his life. Maybe he became frightened by his own feelings and felt the need to back off. I don't think there is much you can or should do except to put this down to experience and get on with your life. Maybe he'll sort himself out eventually, but don't hold your breath.

[zergio]

maybe he just want a relationship, maybe he want to have a best friend but at the school the misinterpreted things and

why you not do a fake e-mail and talk with him and then ask him if he is gay?

but put pictures of one guy gay and tell him you're gay
but invents another guy with picture (hot guy, but credible) , not you

[alberich305]

why you not do a fake e-mail and talk with him and then ask him if he is gay?

He is kind of computer challenge hahha, he just don't like it, doesn't have facebok, twitter nothing and barely connects to the computer.

Maybe he'll sort himself out eventually, but don't hold your breath.

Yeah hes a lost cause, maybe some day he will be in peace being whatever he wants, and im surely not waiting, it sucks but what can i do.

[needspeak]

i was having the same problems with my groupmate... i've written a post with a little summary of my story in "coming out" category.

Sometimes straight guys can flirt without any gay-thoughts. and that sux =(

i don't know what to say - just the only way is to ask him why has he started to ingnore you (do not mention any gay ideas better)

[circledot]

from your story he definitely sounded at least somewhat interested but when it comes down to it you put yourself out there and for whatever reason he didn't bite. he may have gotten scared he may be playing games... who knows? the most important thing is that you don't get hung up on him and move on with your life. he is not meant for you at this time in your life. maybe in the future maybe never but most importantly not now and for you to be stuck on this is only keeping your from getting out there and meeting who is right for you. Right now.

[peterinmalaga]

For your sake I hate to agree with circledot but I do. He may be a bad closet case and/or may be all screwed up by his sexuality. I suspect you may never know. Good-looking guys are nice to have around but he is making his intentions quite clear now and you have to respect that. Would you want him to be just a friend or would that be difficult for you? There is no reason why you should not ask him directly why he never hangs out with you any more? Another option would be to tell him you are gay (which he probably suspects) but that you see him as a friend not a lover. If he really fancies you, that might make it easier for him to make a move. Is this suggestion too risky for you?The safest option is probably to forget him. There's plenty more fish in the ocean and if he is a virgin, he might not be the world's best lover, anyway!

[alberich305]

The safest option is probably to forget him. There's plenty more fish in the ocean and if he is a virgin, he might not be the world's best lover, anyway!

Great Advice!!! And thats what im doing :biggrin:

I wish i could be just friends but is not easy it mess with my head a lot, plus he is weird.

There is no reason why you should not ask him directly why he never hangs out with you any more?

Im so mad at him for ignoring me without any word or explanation, that i really cant even talk to him is like he doesn't deserve it, and part of me is afraid and prefer to leave it like it is, it has hurt me like crazy and depressed me, but i guess it would be worse to be with someone who has issues with his sexuality.