Are Gay People in Denial?

[ConfusedAluse]

I'm wondering, do you people think your sexual attraction is normal, and do you downplay it? And also what is normal? I'm just wondering because someone said that gays are in denail and I just wanted to see if he's right or wrong. (I sure hope he's wrong)

[marshlander]

What?! As one of "you people" (I imagine that doesn't sound as rude in American as it does in English?) I consider myself completely normal. I may have been in denial for many years, but I was also quite unwell for many years. Since I have been out to myself and pretty much everyone else who meets me it's amazing how much better I feel. I don't consciously over or underplay "it", although I'm not quite sure what you mean by that. Like anyone else one just gets on with life as best as possible. Like anyone else there are good days and bad days. Today just happens to be a day when I have had no paid work, the man I love is over 600 miles away, I've had a bill from the hospital, a notice of intended prosecution for driving at 36 mph and a musician friend sent a message letting me know he has a major cancer operation on Thursday. That all sounds fairly normal to me.

So, I'm curious now. What did "someone" suggest we were denying?

[fredv3b]

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that 'you people' is not discourteous in American English, as it is in British English. I cannot speak for the rest of 'us people', only myself. I do believe my sexual orientation is normal. However on a philosophical level I think you have a very important question about what is normal? I don't have a good answer but I can say that the distinction between normal and abnormal is not the distinction between right and wrong, morally speaking, or between health and disease. I don't like people considering me abnormal, but I have to say I don't strongly object to it like I do to their opinions that homosexuality is wrong or a disease.

I don't know what you mean by 'downplay it'. I am openly in a relationship with my boyfriend, we have just had our two-year anniversary together and are about to buy an apartment together. On the other hand, I don't go around trying to make an issue of my sexual orientation, I much prefer it as a non-issue.

Finally, what did this person say we were in denial of?

[Adzz02]

Personally I think my sexual attraction to other men is normal for me because I have developed in thinking this way. There is no right or wrong and the whole idea of is it normal is only because we are a minority compared to straight people. By downplay I guess you mean like keep it on the low? If so then at home I do because I have only recently come out to my parents and there still getting used to so I am respecting their feelings by doing so, however at college I am me. People say I am campish, and I don't care! I love it! Just means i'm comfortable with it and that's who I am I guess.
With the denial thing, I think some men are in denial at first. I certainly was and tried to make my brain think 'normal' / like a 'straight person' but in the end I knew this wasn't right. After realising this myself, I gradually came out to people and they have accepted it. Gave me a HUGE confidence boost and generally became happier.
Hope that's a good answer lol x

[Either-Or]

Um...from my view as an American English speaking person, and from my experience "You People" is a segregating derogatory phrase. Its sometimes followed by an verbal/physical altercation or exchange of a few choice profanities.

[libertylove4]

I agree, whenever I have encountered the phrase "you people" it was meant to be derogatory against whatever group it was directed at.

[bitchlad]

Maybe its an age thing, when I was young I used to think about whether it was normal or not a lot and encouraged by societies attitudes at the time worry about it a lot too. Now older, more confident and with the benefit of experience and hindsight who f..... cares, generally 'society' and the world are that sick, corrupt, full of fanatics, driven by lunatic ideas and vested interests that whether I like riding dick or not is pretty irrelevent.....

[Para0402]

"You people"... Hmm.. the term is more insulting than i think it was intended to be... It's degrading.

But anyway, i dun think we're in denial... I mean, I accept the fact i am gay. But I dun just go blurting it out to every Tom, Dick(hee hee) and Harry that i see.
If hetero people stop discriminating and treating us like pariahs then i guess we would be more open...

[peterinmalaga]

I find the question very naive. A little while back an American student asked me and a group of Spanish people in Malaga:"What is the consensus in Spain about the war in Afghanistan?" I'm sorry but that is a stupid question, because the student concerned should have had the intelligence to know that Europeans don't think that way and I don't believe Americans do either. A society which is so preoccupied with consensus and "normality" does not have the right to call itself a free country or a democratic one. The Spanish people and me just ignored the question. I think you need to go back to school, if you are still asking questions like this one. But for heaven's sake don't go back to the same school you went to last time. They obviously didn't do a very good job.
I want to make it clear to other Americans reading this, that I do not believe that you are all the same!

[selkieboy]

That phrase was once used on me in a GUM clinic. It is offensive and homophobic end off.