Is this right?

[yal]

I personally am against cheating no matter what. . . but that ethical point is a personal issue. You need to do what YOU believe is right.

Just be prepared to have to face it one day. The man you fool around with on the side could get pissed at you and inform your wife. Plus you never know who will find out and inform your wife. It's happened to many of my friends that thought they could keep it quiet.

OH and make sure if you do sleep with a man (or a woman), to make sure you use protection. You don't want to give a "gift" to your wife that could shatter her physical health as well as her mental health.

That's another thing i am worried about! you know? the actual sex part!
Since i have never done it and know it to be uneasy even for a woman,so that is about 60% of the reason why i have not gone streight to a guy and made friends,that's why i want an older guy that's why.... etc.

[pocket_pilgrim]

hello yal. i will give you some advice based on my own experience. i have been on the other side of the barricade - i have had a relationship with a married guy for 2 years.

there were special circumstances when we met and neither of us thought it would get anywhere. i was thinking i would be doing some good and bringing him closer to his family - there was another guy he was seeing who was taking advantage of him, financially and emotionally. so i decided i would take some sort of "saviour" role while moving forward myself (he was my first man).

but then things got bad. soon, in a few months, when he was free of that guy, i realized i had become the new danger in the situation. i was not well equipped to handle the situation so i moved along with it, especially because of the danger of him being pulled down again by that guy or some rebound guy. so, first piece of advice: be careful who you take by your side in whatever you do. there is a chance you can become very vulnerable in "the wrong hands". don't lose your head

after that, all hell followed. i never felt right, never felt happy, never felt free, safe, all my good intentions were shattered and i felt trapped and very bad about myself. i couldn't bring myself to act for fear of him doing something stupid / because i myself had fallen in love with him. it was moments of brief happiness followed by moments of anger, frustration, sorrow - mostly i was confused. it was like having the happiest moments tainted by a horrible infectious feeling of remorse and guilt. i am a very decent guy actually, despite this tale, and my entire being was begging me to take action. it was not until my imminet departure to belgium that i finally had the courage to end it. now i am helping him through the aftermath, as my love for him died, slowly consumed by those dark feelings bordering on self-loathing. so, second piece of advice: lying brings you no feeling of complete joy. there will be so much fear, desperation, questioning, frustration... be honest with yourself and everyone around you - but only when you finally realize what you want and who you are (gay or not), and don't let yourself fall into a vicious circle of unhappiness.

be true. be sure. be strong.

good luck!
t.