How Do You Guys "Get Over It"...?

[rb17]

shiny or otherwise.

Shiny, shiny :tongue:

But yeah, sometimes it's just like mourning. We all have to deal with things in our own ways. That's why we usually don't listen to other peoples advice. Or our own for that matter

[spirito_gab]

I agree with princealbertofb that u need to treat this as a mourning period - something, a big part of you have died. i think its something that we all find really hard - losing a big part of ourselves isn't exactly something that we can "move on" from.

What I found useful was to find another part of me to fill that gap - this can be a new found mission e.g. through volunteering work, start up my own projects and different things but at the end of the day, it is knowing that you can. You can be alone, you can be awesome and you can do things on your own (until you found someone again).

[Mf1611]

everyone has different ways of dealing with breakups and rejections. Most times you got to do the things that will make u happy whatever that may be to take your mind off it.

[dreamer814]

I don't think you ever really "get over it." But, as has been mentioned, time will take a lot of the pain away. At some point, you will look back at the relationship fondly and remember how wonderful it was. For now, you just have to go through the pain.
Distractions are a great thing. Going out dancing with friends will not take away the pain but it will give you time to get away from the remorse.
Also, you have friends to talk to about these kinds of problems. I know you think your friends have never been through something like this, but I will bet that if you gave them a chance, you would be surprised. I don't know what kind of advice they gave you but I am willing to bet, also, that the advice they gave you was techniques that worked for them. The best thing is to talk out the problems with people who will listen and then escape the problem for a brief period of time.
Rebound relationships help a lot. Also, taking time to get to know yourself helps a lot. But the only thing that really helps is time.

[gaylynx]

I'm so sorry to hear about your break up.

I totally know what you're going through. About four years ago I was with a guy that I thought within the first five minutes of meeting, this was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Fast forward six months later and a very on again off again relationship, I realized I was way more into him than he would ever be in me.

The relationship ended, and it was like someone took a knife to my heart and cut it out. I cried for days. I thought I would never love someone as much or as deeply as that again.

I'll be honest, it took years to get over him. The best way I found to deal with it was to avoid him completely. I went out of my way not to go to places I knew he liked. I didn't want to talk to friends about him. I also didn't check up on him online. It's tempting I know, but every time you check his facebook page, you're just opening up a new wound.

I'm not going to tell you some magical cure for the pain. It's just something you have to go through. But try to avoid him as much as possible. Don't get trapped into the whole lets be friends game. That will always set you up to think there's a chance it could work out again, and it won't.

After a while time will pass, focus on yourself, your career, etc. Hang out with your friends, but don't talk about him.

Believe me, the pain gets better. Also, I've since been in relationships where I've found men that I've cared even more deeply about. So don't let yourself believe you'll never find someone else you'll love as much as this last guy. You will.

Hope that helps.

Gaylynx