props to you my friend for figuring it out. you have nothing to be ashamed of, and im really happy you have found the love of your life. it gives the rest of us hope.
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Congratulations. And I wish you all the best in the future. You do not need to be forgiven for anything, in fact, you probably should be thanked. LOL. Live, love, and be happy! :-)
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What a fascinating and unusual story. I'm glad you've found someone you care about and feel like you understand yourself now. It's a positive sign that you feel that you can write about it here. All the best of luck for the future.
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There are so many questions running through my mind that I have great difficulty forming them.
Firstly, what offense have you done against the LGBT community that forces you to confess, to apologize? You were 8 when this happened to you, your now dead friend, was 10; by your own admission, you were children both experimenting with sex, which then transitioned into an abusive relationship. Where in this did you intentionally committed an infraction against the gay community? A confession or apology is superfluous.
At the age of 14, you were an adolescent teen; still a child yourself. It was at this age you caught an epiphany, and realized you love girls. I suppose you started ( well duh, you said so) to date girls openly at this age and discreetly had sex with boys, while advocating, and rallying for gay and bisexual rights; while counseling, and publicly representing the LGBT community. I told you I was confused. On the other hand, were you openly and only gay at a point?
Secondly, you said you learned ALL the characteristics, and mannerisms of homosexual men. Does this mean that you have done an extensive study of ALL gay men, and found that they are pod-people; that they all acted alike? Just curious! Moreover, you put in a pleasant touch to your story that you were empathetic (practicing empathy), may I ask what does this have to do with your story; it seems arbitrary. Unfortunately, I cannot understand the dynamic of addiction to sex at the age of 8 or is it 10; that is a powerful concept, which leaves me completely confounded; and believe me, there is nothing that shocks me to the point of speechless. I am a Parrot, on Phonics. However, I do understand the power of abuse, and the terror it causes it victims. Being forced to have sex is called rape, and this may be the psyche from which you share this confession. Still, I do not understand the enjoyment of rape, unless you were a willing partner. Or, are you saying by this point you were so conditioned to the enjoyment of gay sex, that despite the consequences of abuse, and public bashing, it permitted you, to invite gay sex into your life? Thirdly, do you present this confession as an apology for being conditioned into homosexuality; if so why is the apology needed? ; Or are you presenting this confession as a catalyst and reason for some people being homosexuals? Do you believe you were turned gay? Because even if that is the case, you, yourself have made it moot by confessing that you never had an emotional, or physical attraction to men, you merely was in love with the orgasm you achieved. And, now you are content on many levels with a female.
Now you have met this beautiful woman, who satisfies you on every level important to a man in love. Are you now abstaining from sexual relations with men? Have you told her this fascinating story? You may be an imposter, but I do not think it is for the reason homosexuality came into your life. You have asked for hate mail, and replies, not for questions, or advice, I know. But, I only have questions, I truly hope you take the time to reply to at least some of us here in the GS community
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i believe when i wrote this i did so simply because i needed to get it off my chest i needed to have people know whats happened to me. i needed it to no longer be known by only me. my fiancé knows but i needed more people but at the same time i couldnt tell those around me. (gotta love the internet for the anonymity factor) i can honestly say that after reading that for the first time in months that is the most honest thing ive ever written. for those that are confused about what ive written, believe me im just as, if not more, confused. most of whats happened is a haze. most likely due in part to the drugs ive done (clean now) as well as the simple fact that for the most part i dont want to remember.
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Good luck with your new life... stay clear of the drugs... and hope you are happy with your fiancée. (should have an E at the end, or else it applies to a male partner) 
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princealbertofb Wrote:Good luck with your new life... stay clear of the drugs... and hope you are happy with your fiancée. (should have an E at the end, or else it applies to a male partner)
I agree with princealbertofb.... and It would be nice to see you here many times again...
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That is really quite a story. I wish you the best of luck with your current lifestyle.
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Hey, that was a powerful story, I'm glad you gathered the courage and self-awareness to write it all down. It is touching. It makes me sad that you had such a confusing journey but it makes me happy that you have figured yourself out and have someone to love. That's amazing.
It's brought up some memories from my childhood, I had a similar "friend" for a summer who had ideas of what to do with our penises, and only now as an adult do I realize that he could not have known about these things unless an adult had taught him. I know when I went to his place, there were some sexually explicit material readily available and even posted on the wall. He actually gave me the creeps so I refused to hang out with him. That's when he tried to be abusive with me, and I threatened to tell everyone at school what he had done with me if he didn't leave me alone. It worked.
In my case, I don't think it "made" me gay, but it really did give me a lot of shame for a long time. I am currently going through a few years of really not finding men appealing, but I don't have any attraction for women, so I think I'm still gay.
Anyway, this is not about me, but thanks for sharing because it's brought up some stuff I need to take a look at in my life. Best of luck to you, and hope to read more by you.
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I just want to say thank you for your honesty, and for the courageousness you display in being a supporter even after your straight self discovery. Standing up for the cause isn't easy in most places...I don't know about your area, but where I live, it's still nerveracking to be open, even with all of the equality advancements.
Much love to you...I hope you continue to find happiness, and fight the good fight, even if you're not playing for the same team 
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