Tired of not being me.
06-28-2010, 07:10 PM
Hi
I have got to say, some brilliant advice here :biggrin:
i am also going through the whole coming out thing at the moment. I think you have pretty much done the hardest part, you have admitted to yourself that you are gay. i know that sounds very dramatic and over the top but i think especially for me, it was true.
Now, you get to the second hardest part, coming out to the first person. The first person i come out to was my best friend, who i have known for most my life. At first she thought i was messing, and wouldnt believe me, but after a few minutes she clicked i wasnt messing. Im not going to lie to you and pretend its easy, because it isnt, i was physically shaking when i told her, but you feel so much better once you have told someone, your life isnt a secret anymore, and theres someone who you can always talk to about it if you need to, it really is a huge weight off your shoulders.
After one person knows its like a domino effect, its getting the courage to tell the first one, thats the harsest one to push over, after that the next few are a struggle, but they are a lot easier, and eventually you dont even worry about it.
Then you have your parents, i still havent come out to my parents, but from what i have read on the internet, and other peoples stories i would just say take it slow. Remember how long it took yourself to come to terms with it, i would be shocked if it was over night. With the best will in the world, your mum wont probably jump up and down and think its great, and it will take time to get used to. But you need to make sure you are prepared for different outcomes, be willing to answer questions she may ask (obviously with limits).
And the last thing i am going to say, yes you dont want to be in the closet for the rest of your life, but at the same time, you dont want to come sprinting out of the closet, give yourself some time to adjust to it.
Good luck mate, you only live once, so dont live a lie just to please other people
Lee
mile:
I have got to say, some brilliant advice here :biggrin:
i am also going through the whole coming out thing at the moment. I think you have pretty much done the hardest part, you have admitted to yourself that you are gay. i know that sounds very dramatic and over the top but i think especially for me, it was true.
Now, you get to the second hardest part, coming out to the first person. The first person i come out to was my best friend, who i have known for most my life. At first she thought i was messing, and wouldnt believe me, but after a few minutes she clicked i wasnt messing. Im not going to lie to you and pretend its easy, because it isnt, i was physically shaking when i told her, but you feel so much better once you have told someone, your life isnt a secret anymore, and theres someone who you can always talk to about it if you need to, it really is a huge weight off your shoulders.
After one person knows its like a domino effect, its getting the courage to tell the first one, thats the harsest one to push over, after that the next few are a struggle, but they are a lot easier, and eventually you dont even worry about it.
Then you have your parents, i still havent come out to my parents, but from what i have read on the internet, and other peoples stories i would just say take it slow. Remember how long it took yourself to come to terms with it, i would be shocked if it was over night. With the best will in the world, your mum wont probably jump up and down and think its great, and it will take time to get used to. But you need to make sure you are prepared for different outcomes, be willing to answer questions she may ask (obviously with limits).
And the last thing i am going to say, yes you dont want to be in the closet for the rest of your life, but at the same time, you dont want to come sprinting out of the closet, give yourself some time to adjust to it.
Good luck mate, you only live once, so dont live a lie just to please other people
Lee
mile:
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