[B:confused: ][/B]
I can't tell my parents. They would be devastated, but I can't hide my true feelings forever. How can I tell my parents?
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i know it is hard..
but you are 55 years old...
i think you have enough enough enough power to say something..
as i know, most agings(you parents must over 70) have a peaceful attitution about something. they experience a lot..
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I don't see why you have to tell your parents. If you think they will be OK about it, tell them. Write them a letter or send an email. But otherwise, keep stumm. I you are really unsure how they might react, say "How would you react, if I told you I am bisexual?" You can then backtrack and give them some bullshit if they can't cope with the truth - that's no so bad, as you've presumably been bullshitting them all your life so far!
Good luck!
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How desperate are you for them to know? And why do you want it known now? Has something changed in your recent situation?
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Please don't tell them. They may have a heart attack
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I hope my previous post to you did not seem too abrupt! Perhaps if you told us a little about your parents and how you imagine they might react (and why), we might be able to help more. Also why are you so reluctant to tell them? I still say that coming out is only one of your options until I hear why it is so important to you.
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Mindislost, I don't know you and I don't know your parents so I may not be helpful after all. What I can do is share my experience with you. I came out some months ago and in fact I was determined not to start going out to gay venues before I told my family - so I know the feeling. It wasn't easy (it's never easy) - the moment you tell them you change in their eyes. You are not just their son or daughter anymore you are their gay son / daughter and this makes a huge difference in the way they deal with you. From my experience I would say that coming out is about YOU and YOU ONLY. What is important here is they way YOU feel not your family. It is a liberating experience and it helps you come in terms with your inner self. You become stronger, you don't have to hide anymore. Keep in mind that if they cannot accept you the way you are, then you really need to know it and adjust to reality. You can handle it. You have the brains and the experience. Still, you have to do it (if you decide to go along with it) when YOU feel READY and only then. I am a complete stranger so you don't have to take my word for it but this is how it happened with. I was planning to tell my mother when I returned home for summer. But my sister, who already knew, made a silly joke and I had to tell her, unfortunately, on the phone. I just woke up one morning before having my coffee, picked up the phone and told to my mum I' m gay. I am not going to lie to you, it wasn't easy - she is 65. For the next few weeks she would say things to me that were insensitive and, if you ask me, unfair. They don't stop to think that you are their child whom they are supposed to know better than anyone. You have changed. But now after a couple of months she has accepted it and wants nothing more than for me to be happy. Now when I come to think of it, I consider it a part of growing up, a sort of rite de passage into becoming gay. Of course, that doesn't mean that I am happier but that's another kettle of fish. It is good to know that you can pick up the phone and talk to your family about these things when you are worried. At the end of the day, it is YOU nad YOU ONLY who can take the decision to come out to your parents. You should do it, when YOU FEEL READY and ONLY THEN. Do it for you and for no one else. Good luck! I really hope this was helpful.
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It took me three attempts to tell my parents. Finally, on the third attempt I got my mum on her own, which was a lot easier than both together. I then took the coward's way out and got my mother to tell my dad. (I've never really been able to talk about emotional topics with my dad. They are always strained.)
For me the opening was that in the weeks prior to me coming out I'd been a lot happier about myself and I'd started to lose weight... So that was my opening. Start with something positive.
Good luck.
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Parents
