Why I Will Never Be So Trusting...
08-25-2010, 05:55 PM
I am not sure as to what I'm hoping to gain. This is more just to share an experience rather than seek advice.
While searching for apps for my phone, I came across a gay chat application that had been tried and used by many before me. I downloaded it knowing that it got horrible reviews. It did deserve those horrid ratings, actually. However, after going through the review list, I happened to realize a pattern of guys leaving their emails or "gtalk" (Google Chat) usernames asking for guys to hit them up. I decided to follow the crowd and do the same in addition to talking to some of these guys. Things were going well. Several of them had contacted me and we got to talking.
There was one guy I contacted, let's call him "B". He claimed to have abs and I was very interested in exchanging pics and chatting him up. He was quite attractive, and I decided to roll with it. Less than two weeks later, we had ceased talking. B was ignoring me. How do I know? I messaged him numerous times when I knew he was online and he never responded. I gave him a break for a few days. Soon after, I decided to attenpt to connect with him once more. Big mistake. After several messages, he responds "You are so fucking annoying! Leave me alone! Holy shit!" Needless to say, that was the end of that and I felt like crap for several days...
Another guy, let's refer to him as D, emailed me. We got to chatting and he asked for my number. I gave it to him and he asked for a pic of me. I sent it to his phone and texted him. A couple (and I mean very few) texts later, I am having one sided conversations and he is not responding. I continuously ask why to no avail. All I wanted to know was why he was ignoring me and I feel like everyone deserves reasons, right? I hate it when I don't get a reason as to why something happens or doesn't happen. It leaves me cold and in the dark feeling like a cheap unimportant piece of a puzzle. I decided to leave in alone. A few days later, I text him again. "Hey," I say... His response? "Hey" Progress?! Think again. I say "Whatchu up 2?" He says "Nothing much. Ummm to tell you the truth, I don't know who this is." I give him my name...and...no response. I text again!...no response. I text again! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again!...no response. Do I sound desperate? Hell yes I was! It's a nice feeling to want to be wanted by someone who isn't only interested in you for sex (another story to come) and when I got that chance I had to milk that fat cow for all it was worth! I would call and he'd answer and hang up or just let it go to voicemail and never call back. I eventually stopped trying to contact him. And as much as I was hurt yet again...I had to do it.
On to someone knew. His name is "G". G was my knight. He emailed me and we would chat, text, email, and speak for quite some time when he was able to. He sent me nudes and although this isn't something I would normally do, I sent him some too. But we kept talking so I felt safe and alright. As I said, it's nice to be wanted and appreciated for more than just one's ass. He asked for me to be his boyfriend and I said yes. He told me he loved me and I stupidly reciprocated those same feelings. I come back from family vacation in Europe (Where I could not use my phone) and try to get at him. No response. Being the crazy fool that I am, I consistently tried to contact him. Chat, email, text, phone call, everything. I leave voicemails saying to call me as well as saying those 3 little (at this point horrible) 8 letters. No call back. Do I not deserve an explanation? I ask for one...several times...to no avail. One day (and I swore this day would never come) he answers his phone. Only to say "I'm working" and immediately hang up. After trying to reach him via chat a few more times, I finally say "Ok...I'm done. Thanks." I check the chat a few minutes later to find that he has removed me as his friend. This incident, this one alone, made me feel absolutely horrible because I kept thinking it was my fault. It also immediately soured me to the idea of coming out to my parents on that night after feeling confident about doing it and planning for hours how to do it.
What I did next was what I should have done before I got to desperate stalker mode: I deleted their numbers, removed them as friends in chat, trashed their pictures, and focused my anger and frustration and sadness into becoming determined to never allow myself to get wrapped in a similar situation ever again. I'm also more determined than ever for some reason to be an excellent student council president. (I guess that's one good thing that came about.)
I am over these 6 guys (the 3 minor ones not mentioned here. Pretty much just standard talk for a while then cease talking to me without a reason). I am over getting caught up with people I meet via chat. Not that I will give up chats and stuff I just won't allow myself to become so trusting of the people I talk to so quickly. Lesson Learned. It's nice to feel wanted by people you may never even meet but not nice to be treated like shit by them. :-)
Enjoy...
Sent from my SPH-M900 using Tapatalk
While searching for apps for my phone, I came across a gay chat application that had been tried and used by many before me. I downloaded it knowing that it got horrible reviews. It did deserve those horrid ratings, actually. However, after going through the review list, I happened to realize a pattern of guys leaving their emails or "gtalk" (Google Chat) usernames asking for guys to hit them up. I decided to follow the crowd and do the same in addition to talking to some of these guys. Things were going well. Several of them had contacted me and we got to talking.
There was one guy I contacted, let's call him "B". He claimed to have abs and I was very interested in exchanging pics and chatting him up. He was quite attractive, and I decided to roll with it. Less than two weeks later, we had ceased talking. B was ignoring me. How do I know? I messaged him numerous times when I knew he was online and he never responded. I gave him a break for a few days. Soon after, I decided to attenpt to connect with him once more. Big mistake. After several messages, he responds "You are so fucking annoying! Leave me alone! Holy shit!" Needless to say, that was the end of that and I felt like crap for several days...
Another guy, let's refer to him as D, emailed me. We got to chatting and he asked for my number. I gave it to him and he asked for a pic of me. I sent it to his phone and texted him. A couple (and I mean very few) texts later, I am having one sided conversations and he is not responding. I continuously ask why to no avail. All I wanted to know was why he was ignoring me and I feel like everyone deserves reasons, right? I hate it when I don't get a reason as to why something happens or doesn't happen. It leaves me cold and in the dark feeling like a cheap unimportant piece of a puzzle. I decided to leave in alone. A few days later, I text him again. "Hey," I say... His response? "Hey" Progress?! Think again. I say "Whatchu up 2?" He says "Nothing much. Ummm to tell you the truth, I don't know who this is." I give him my name...and...no response. I text again!...no response. I text again! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again!...no response. Do I sound desperate? Hell yes I was! It's a nice feeling to want to be wanted by someone who isn't only interested in you for sex (another story to come) and when I got that chance I had to milk that fat cow for all it was worth! I would call and he'd answer and hang up or just let it go to voicemail and never call back. I eventually stopped trying to contact him. And as much as I was hurt yet again...I had to do it.
On to someone knew. His name is "G". G was my knight. He emailed me and we would chat, text, email, and speak for quite some time when he was able to. He sent me nudes and although this isn't something I would normally do, I sent him some too. But we kept talking so I felt safe and alright. As I said, it's nice to be wanted and appreciated for more than just one's ass. He asked for me to be his boyfriend and I said yes. He told me he loved me and I stupidly reciprocated those same feelings. I come back from family vacation in Europe (Where I could not use my phone) and try to get at him. No response. Being the crazy fool that I am, I consistently tried to contact him. Chat, email, text, phone call, everything. I leave voicemails saying to call me as well as saying those 3 little (at this point horrible) 8 letters. No call back. Do I not deserve an explanation? I ask for one...several times...to no avail. One day (and I swore this day would never come) he answers his phone. Only to say "I'm working" and immediately hang up. After trying to reach him via chat a few more times, I finally say "Ok...I'm done. Thanks." I check the chat a few minutes later to find that he has removed me as his friend. This incident, this one alone, made me feel absolutely horrible because I kept thinking it was my fault. It also immediately soured me to the idea of coming out to my parents on that night after feeling confident about doing it and planning for hours how to do it.
What I did next was what I should have done before I got to desperate stalker mode: I deleted their numbers, removed them as friends in chat, trashed their pictures, and focused my anger and frustration and sadness into becoming determined to never allow myself to get wrapped in a similar situation ever again. I'm also more determined than ever for some reason to be an excellent student council president. (I guess that's one good thing that came about.)
I am over these 6 guys (the 3 minor ones not mentioned here. Pretty much just standard talk for a while then cease talking to me without a reason). I am over getting caught up with people I meet via chat. Not that I will give up chats and stuff I just won't allow myself to become so trusting of the people I talk to so quickly. Lesson Learned. It's nice to feel wanted by people you may never even meet but not nice to be treated like shit by them. :-)
Enjoy...
Sent from my SPH-M900 using Tapatalk
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Virgo
