Hi..I'm new, and I have a question...

[frankcider]

Hey everyone I'm new, and to start off my introduction I have a question to ask, that is why, in part, I joined these forums in the first place:

I didn't ever realize that I might have been gay (or bi, i'm still not completely sure) until last year, which was my freshman year of college, and so I was 18 years old.

Think back through high school and stuff, I don't think I was ever in a state of denial or anything, and I really can't ever remember being even attracted to guys earlier than just last year.

I can't even remember really how it happened, but the earliest thing from last year was watching some videos on YouTube of some guys kissing, which led to watching Brokeback Mountain, and some other gay movies (like Shelter, for example). And then gay pornography, months later.

Is this normal for anyone to come out this late? If this is really late?

Also, to further talk about the maybe being bi issue...
I don't really know still if I'm gay or bi.
I haven't ever had a girlfriend or boyfriend.
It hasn't been that I could never get one, it's just that I legitimately haven't had any desire for a relationship yet in my, now, 19 years of living. I'm pretty sure I'm a bit asexual as well as being possibly gay or bi.

Help? lol


Thanks,

- frankcider

[marshlander]

It's never too late! Some of us were much older before we dared face up to it. Don't worry too much about the labels. Just tick the "don't know" box for now. It will become clearer in time. Meanwhile, have (safe!!!) fun working it out.

[colinmackay]

I was 34 when I finally accepted who I was, and 35 when I come out. You have plenty time to figure it out.



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[fenris]

I would try to get some gay and / or bisexual friends .... this can be a good thing for your own decision and show you some other lifestyles ... and if you are maybe straight you only have won new friends....

[Sil]

Yeah, I was exactly the same pretty much... always made me jealous of the guys who just knew from an early age, which seemed much less complicated.

You're becoming bi-curious, and (damn I sound like a parent, but -) it's perfectly natural at that age; I beat myself up over it for a long time when I got my first guy-crush at 17 after trying to be straight. Trust me, it's really not worth griefing yourself for; you'll just look back at the time and think how much stuff you could've been doing rather than just thinking and debating about.

it always helps in these situations to talk with a gay friend about it, as you've done here. Things you may want to watch out for - I hate to say it but there are some (emphasis on the small amount) of predatory gay guys who will be more than happy to take advantage of the fact you're young and wanting to experiment. Don't fall for it.

You'd be amazed how many of your buddies would probably jerk off with you, or at least do stuff, with enough alcohol and coaxing. After I came out to my friends it was like confession city :tongue: everybody owns up to little things.

How can I help? well to make it not bother you you have to be comfortable in who you are, and it sounds like right now you don't know. The only real solution is in another partner, male or female, who will be perfect for you and make you realise you've made the right decision. This involves some bravery and experimenting, but if you can think of it as fun, and be careful, you may find the answers you're looking for. Take it easy

[princealbertofb]

I'll just post a warm as your question seems to have been covered by the posters hereabove... In the mean time, have fun finding out about love, sexuality and life. Be careful what you do and who you do it with, but that's just very general advice... mile:

[outandabout]

First of all, you should be proud of yourself for exploring these questions. Some of us preferred to just pretend we didn't have those questions. I was in denial so deeply that it took over my life; I was so paranoid about everything. If someone asked me if I liked a certain kind of music I'd have gears turning in my mind trying to figure out the best response that wouldn't sound gay.

So, whatever you find out, you're already doing the right thing by trying to figure it out and being open about it. You're taking a bold first step and I applaud you for that.

[posterpicture]

Just give it time and stick with "Questioning". And yes, it 's normal.

[Genersis]

Welcome!:biggrin:
All very normal.mile:
I didn't get the urge for a relationship till i was 16.
Before that, i didn't care about relationships....or even sex for that matter.(Little currious, no urge to actually do anything about it)

Enjoy your time here!mile:

[frankcider]

Well thanks everyone, I just read through all your posts, and they do help.

As far as the labels go though, I was kind of expecting all the "be yourself", and "don't try so hard to label yourself" kind of responses, but I really like labels, and I'm a pretty realist type of a person, so I just like to know how it is I guess.

But yeah, I just need to experiment I guess, just to truly figure it all out.

But thank again everyone