01-07-2011, 05:45 PM
Thanks for the feedback folks. =) And OrphanPip, thanks for all the useful info! I'll think about going the uni route in the future, though I have no plans to attempt any form of publication now. This stuff's just too raw and unpolished.
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Untitled
A lotus a field an ocean dried up
The sky is the limit but the fuel is used up
Dried and shriveled unspeaking flower
Gathered together the funeral hour
Speaking in tongues to your darling babe
Compass collapse into astrolabe
Still navigating from sand careen
Into oceans so stop-dead clean
Drowned at the door shoot from the hip
Breaking away on to songwise trip
Too leavened too ripe in this ocean crisp
Like children deaf we see earth reflect wisp
Bastard crowns you kiss their steel
Cannon clapped up too real to reel
Open the cryo then run back to Io
Callisto to daydreams peel
Hoping miracle coping
Shuttering your dream's open
Moping or interloping?
Shuddering you've misspoken.
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Untitled
A lotus a field an ocean dried up
The sky is the limit but the fuel is used up
Dried and shriveled unspeaking flower
Gathered together the funeral hour
Speaking in tongues to your darling babe
Compass collapse into astrolabe
Still navigating from sand careen
Into oceans so stop-dead clean
Drowned at the door shoot from the hip
Breaking away on to songwise trip
Too leavened too ripe in this ocean crisp
Like children deaf we see earth reflect wisp
Bastard crowns you kiss their steel
Cannon clapped up too real to reel
Open the cryo then run back to Io
Callisto to daydreams peel
Hoping miracle coping
Shuttering your dream's open
Moping or interloping?
Shuddering you've misspoken.