Gay in an intolerant area..

[Dville118]

Thanks everyone for your comments. I've read them all and given it some thought.

I have no attachment to this house or this neighborhood.. in fact I revile the place.

Just last week I spoke to a realtor about selling, it's viable, but tight. I may wind up renting if I do this.. and that's something I CAN do..

it brings up a broader question for me that's actually been eating at me since I moved here to Atlanta 4 years ago, and has been moreso in the last year now that i'm.. well out to myself and more honest about my feelings.

I suppose I have this urge to.. start over.. ya know to move to another city and meet new people and just right off the bat identify myself as gay and be open about it.. rather than trying to come out and re-invent an existing image..

I've looked around at other cities, I even applied for jobs in a few places last week when the CEO became very angry at me because of something silly. (She's stressed lately.. economy is tight and upper management is worried.. but we're hanging on from what I can tell.. either way it puts you on thin ice with her to do ANYTHING lately that's inconvenient.)

I still like the idea of sorts.. I've looked at Ft. lauderdale, charleston, a few other places but nothing really really seriously. I have to go where jobs are.. I don't want an enourmous paycut and I'm paid very well where I am.

So I guess the borader question is.. should I move to another city? or stick with this one? If I stay here.. I can rent a house or a condo somewhere in town.. but I'll still be close enough to my "old life" that things will follow me I have a feeling.

One thing I'm afraid of is running from myself. You know as well as I do that if you run from your shadow it always follows you. The only way to get away is to turn off the lights.

Also, Aaycle, it's funny you should mention tofu and hummus lol. I gave up meat about 2 months ago. I don't have anything against it, I just don't eat it at all on a daily basis. If I go out with people I will but.. on my own.. I don't. I LOVE hummus.

They will always outgun me here. My neighbor stopped me from raking leaves the other day to talk to me about hunting and how he shot some deer in the woods behind his house the other day.

talking to me about sports or hunting or things like that.. you're better served to talk to a tree. It'll be more interested and knowledgeable.

[fredv3b]

Do you actually like Atlanta as a city? Can you afford to live in a nice part of it? If not don't feel guilty. If you do, do you really need to leave?

[Dville118]

This is the first major city I've lived in. No, I don't like the place really. The long commutes and energy sucking traffic, coming home to a neighborhood filled with ATVs and rednecks in mustangs just absolutely ruins my mood. The nicer areas of this city are so above and beyond reasonable affordable price ranges there's no way I could live in them.. perhaps if I won the lottery or inheritted CNN or something.. otherwise no, it doesn't seem so.

Condos in the 500ks etc.. I make less than $100k a year and I would probably suffice to say that I'm over paid at the current time for my profession compared to most others.

I just got off the phone with my realtor. I'd already told them to cancel the deal because I didn't have the cash, but they don't seem to understand that.

It seems you need a good $20-30k in cash on hand before making a move.

I question if coming out of the redneck-villas and into a family oriented golf community is really a switch that would make any difference in the first place though. A number of straight religious types have associated people like "us" as pedophiles and other vile things and for the most part are unwilling to listen to the voice of reason. (I intentionally argued with some phobic people for a while just to get a feel for their illogical thought processes.. as I knew I'd be facing it one day..)

I suppose I'm not sure what I want.. I just know what I DONT want.

[fredv3b]

I question if coming out of the redneck-villas and into a family oriented golf community is really a switch that would make any difference in the first place though.

Although you may well be ostracised in either area, I doubt you would live in fear of possibly being assaulted in the golf community. Am I right in reading into your comments ghat you want to be an accepted part of your neighbourhood as an openly gay man, not just someone who happens to live there? (As an aside I thought golf was an excuse to get away from the family, not drag them round with you.)

You are not the only gay guy in Atlanta, where do the rest of them live?

[Wintereis]

If big cities are too much for you with the traffic and the expense and small, rural areas are too conservative, go for a college town. They are usually midsized cities, with liberal bend to them (even in the most conservative states). They have all the cosmopolitan amenities of a large city without the cost and the crowds. Just be sure you can find a job first, the competition with new graduates tends to make it more difficult to find a decent job prospect, but if you are in a high demand field, college towns are a good option for us gay guys who aren't fond of living in major metropoli.

[Dville118]

I'm not sure what to do yet.. Really.. my job seems to be pretty good, even though I tend to get bored there.

To answer the question "where do the gays live in atlanta" I.. don't really know. Dating sites show we're pretty much everywhere.. some in suburbs, a lot in midtown, but I don't know that I'm "like them" if that makes any sense. I suppose that's another topic lol.

I have a friend pushing me to find a gay community and live in it... I think I might be more comfortable in a gay TOLERANT community. I don't suppose my desire to move is all because of this either.. my neighbors are simply terrible.. and I really hate coming home these days.

[fredv3b]

I am sure there are plenty of gays in Atlanta (or any other city) who don't want to live in a 'gay community' but have tried to find a tolerant area. I was just wondering if their locations could give you a clue to potential neighbourhoods.

Also Wintereis makes a very good case for college towns.