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I just need to get this out
so i thought i would vent
and what better way than the internet?

so let me start by saying i have a disease that makes me go hopitalized every few months for surgery.
and ive been on anti deppressions ever since i can remember
beacuase i have severe anxiety.

so i had a hard time making it through elementary school, because i just couldnt make myself go.

Then once i got into highschool i loved it, had loads of friends and had lots of confidence bla bla bla everything was good untill i had to switch classes then everything went downhill.
the teacher thats class i was put in was just a straight up dick. like i mean DICK, first day in the class he singles me out and tears me apart MY FIRST DAY THERE, insults me like no tomrorow etc. Great teacher eh?
so there go's my confidence down the drain.
first thing i do is request class change. but nope they dont care
tell the administrators that hes beening a dick. do they care? no
so i just stop going to those classes.

barly made it through the year. then next year came along
got stuck in grade 8 classes but didnt go to those
slowly started to slip into not comming agian untill i got kicked out
lost alot of friends rumors started etc

slowly gained some back got into school agian (alt)
but got kicked out because i was in the hospital to much.
same thing happend the next year
and the year after that
but that time i lost ALl of my friends
for no reason jsut abandoned me. Became suicidal, started cutting, taking pills etc
almost killed myself with achcohol poisoning

Smarted up a bit gained some new friends, upped my meds
did school online for a bit

finally got back into school, got more friends, just trying to not get kicked out,

i still drink just not nearly as much, i went through a alcoholic stage where i was drinking till a straight up passed out.

still alot of stupid rumors going around but everyone in my class has rumors about them so atleaste i have support.

still waiting to get the hell outa this town befor i come out
even tho i know for a fact it will spread anyway
6 people know that ive told
i now trust 5 of them

but hey im ready to knock some people out that talk shit about me.

so yeah thats about it just thougth someone might find this a neat read or somthing

also im not suicidal nor have cutmyself in a long time but both those topics still scare the shit out me

ps as you can tell i suck at grammer and English since he was my English teacher

Wow that has to suck Im sorry you have such a sucky medical condition Sad

dam dude its hard enough being gay without the extra medical problems. but this will only make you stronger. just dont give up man. i havnt metyou but im sure your awesome.Cool

Congratulations on being resilient enough to carry on regardless and for being able to change some of your behaviours. May your future be better than your past seems to have been.

Best wishes.

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