Ok, so a guy is coming over to my house (for the first time)

[marshlander]

It's as well that you are thinking ahead to take care of yourself and your partner. If you want the relationship to last beyond a couple of dates you might want to consider that you don't necessarily have to have sex the first time? It's not actually in the rules But if you go ahead you might find it is quite enough to deal with just being intimate with another person without going as far as, say, having anal intercourse.

However, if you are going to go "all the way" you are right to be prepared and lube and condoms are the way to go. If you live outside the city you might find it difficult to get hold of anything that isn't sold in your local chemist, supermarket or garage (sorry, I don't know what is generally available in the RoI. In the UK I know that, were I to be caught short, I could go to my local gay pub and pick up a free pack containing condoms and lube from a basket near the events noticeboard. There are health charities providing services like this all over the UK, but I don't know if the same thing happens in Ireland. Given time to plan ahead it is cheaper to order supplies online. My partner and I usually buy from an NHS-affiliated service called "Freedoms". It is one of many, but offers a choice of condoms and lubricants at competitive prices. If, of course, you are simply going to end up masturbating you are not really going to need them.

There are different sorts of lubricant. If you are going to be using latex condoms a water or silicon-based lubricant is best. Most lubricants sold for sex will be water or silicon based. Oil-based lubricants (for example, Vaseline) risks damage to the latex of a condom and will reduce your protection from STIs.

KY is fine, but if you have to keep reapplying it you may find you don't like squeezing it out of a tube. Silicon generally lasts longer, but is often more expensive, although this is offset by the fact you use less of it (although however careful you are it always seems to get all over the outside of the container!). Many consider the pump dispenser option of many water-based lubes more convenient. You'll eventually decide on your own preferences after time to experiment.

[Sil]

hehe I'm jealous, this sounds like my perfect date...

brings back good memories too, I remember being in that spot. Just roll with it dude, if things end up going that way then just take the time to experiment, and as many people above said, keep a few things handy just in case it gets hot and heavy.

Personal experience - MODERATION don't get TOO high weed has this weird habit of making you think you can just keep smokin' and smokin'. If both of you are completely flaked chances ar you'll just end up lay there watching movies together and do nothing... I've tried hanging out with new people before while really stoned and the conversation just turns to shit if you're not totally sure of each other.

Good luck mate ^_^ just don't get stuck in the sky, and have a good time. I'd be tempted to get some cool DVDs, videogames/ random toys (not sex toys ) , and general shit to keep you entertained when you're all giggly and stuff. Don't forget the snacks too...

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Hi!

The top-bottom thing...if you are gonna do something and it's become clear at some point of the evening, you will work who's gonna be what then, it will probably just happen...:] But you being older, he'll probably let yo utake control...who knows.

I think that pharmacies do sell lube, but you can probably find it in a supermarket or something (at least we have it in supermarkets here). And, yeah, buy some condoms, just in case.. you never know what happens. Don't worry too much, it will be alright I am absolutely sure!

Good luck!

[NYUstudent]

Score! Well first off, I didn't have anal sex until I tried exclusively oral stuff a few times. If you're thinking you want to go right to anal then definitely have condoms and lube on hand, just because you can't expect him to have thought of it first.

You don't want to have those things in plain sight though, he might find it presumptuous. This kid sounds like me when I was 16 and if this is the case, then yes he does expect something sexual to happen. But that doesn't mean you have to supply that for him, obviously. If you keep your head it's pretty easy to let him know that's not what you plan on doing without feeling like an asshole. Just start talking about or doing other things like coloring or video games (best things to do when stoned in my opinion.)

But if you DO want something to happen don't worry! Just stay in touch with what he seems to enjoy but also find out for yourself what you like. It should be fun! I can't wait to hear how it went/goes.

[bi-boy92]

Thanks guys!

One weird thing is though... he doesnt know for sure that I'm attracted to men.
I havent come out of any closet or anything (I dont really feel the need to, it isnt a big deal to me).

We did talk about how much homophobia sucks during our first conversation, however, and I do compliment him on his appearance occassionally (his reactions vary).
I dont think many guys actually approach him like I did though. Most of his friends are female, and I've heard maybe half the male population of our school year declare that they hate him (for acting like "such a faggot", which must be rough on him) first-hand, so it cant be common.
Also, I dont know what business straight males have talking frequently to gay boys like that anyway, flirting with them and complimenting them.

Do you think that I gave enough of a hint?

[bi-boy92]

Thanks guys!

One thing that isn't cleared up though is... he doesnt know for sure that I'm attracted to guys.
I havent come out of any closet or anything, I dont really feel a need to. It's not a big deal for me.

We did talk about how much homophobia sucks though, during our first conversation, and I've occassionally complimented his appearance (with varying results).

But I dont know how many guys approach him the way I did though. Most of his friends are female, and I've personally heard maybe about half the males in our school year declare their hate for him, so I doubt there aren't very many.

Also, from a neutral point of view, I dont really see what business a straight man has talking frequently to a gay man like that, flirting with him and complimenting him.

So do you guys think I gave enough of a hint?

[toomuch45]

Thanks guys!

One thing that isn't cleared up though is... he doesnt know for sure that I'm attracted to guys.
I havent come out of any closet or anything, I dont really feel a need to. It's not a big deal for me.

We did talk about how much homophobia sucks though, during our first conversation, and I've occassionally complimented his appearance (with varying results).

But I dont know how many guys approach him the way I did though. Most of his friends are female, and I've personally heard maybe about half the males in our school year declare their hate for him, so I doubt there aren't very many.

Also, from a neutral point of view, I dont really see what business a straight man has talking frequently to a gay man like that, flirting with him and complimenting him.

So do you guys think I gave enough of a hint?

yea and dont worry what all those men think because if you really like him i say fuck those homophobic dudes at your school and do it cause no one can stop you and be careful as well.

[SlipknotRlZZ]

I think that you don't have to worry about this. I mean, drop a couple more hints and then when you get together if you think something has clicked with him, come out to him...and yea, the homophobia topic is pretty convenient and safe here, you can use it. :]]

[Luke14009]

Hey bi-guy and guess im not the one from ireland on this anymore well i think you should wait till you are completely positive about him first cause it could get real ugly if your not

[bi-boy92]

Hi again (I know I'm a bit late)

So he came over, twice, but nothing happened. Either time.
He informed me like an hour before he was to come over that he'd bring his friend. a friend that I've never met, nor talked to. And within a few hours she was puking into my toilet.
(But that's not important)

It wasn't a disaster or anything, I was just super-nervous to be hanging out with him, and to have a total stanger present the whole time didnt help anything either. I barely said a thing the whole time (unless I started spouting gibberish when I was stoned, but to the best of my knowledge that didnt happen).
Also "Sil" was toatlly right, we just veged out and watched cartoons the whole time. Even I was mellow, whereas I started out with strong intentions.
It wasnt what I expected it to be, but I still had a nice time.


So I guess the thing to do now is to just admit that I have a thing for him and see how he reacts?