The big green monster....?!

[Untraceable726]

The big green monster AKA jealousy....I use to be very jealous of people who would stare or do anything towards the guy I was with but over the years I have learned slowly to trust my partner and learn to beat the green monster off my back...but does jealousy ever go away? Am I only the person who still tends to wonder what his partner is doing and get a tad jealous when better looking guys make moves towards my guy? What's your take on jealousy......?

[princealbertofb]

Bravo for managing to beat the monster off your back. It is not easy, I'm sure, but I think it has a lot to do with trust issues and self confidence. What I mean by that is that one's trust issues have been moulded by what experiences one has had in life before. As for self confidence, it's the abilitiy to know and accept that one is worth being with and fighting for. Unless you believe in yourself, it's hard to accept that anyone else would believe in you.

So, Untraceable, what are your assets? Do these assets outweigh the flaws? Do the assets stand out more in your relationship? Probably. You've got to trust that you have more to offer than you think. But as every relationship is also about working on it, find ways of proving regularly that you are still the person your partner trusts and respects, and has trusted and respected in the past. When any changes occur (such as in the problem you came to us with), discussion is primordial.

[Untraceable726]

Well you have a point. Since I got burned in the past not once but twice. I am reluctant to let any one get extremely close anymore let alone trust anyone 100%. The first time my ex left me for a co worker and cheated on me then left. The ironic part was the co worker did the same to him a few months later. Then the second one was a best friend stole my boyfriend of two years right from under my nose. Its long story but I use to be very trusting before those two and I consider that to be my flaw. I have a big heart. My current partner loves and adores me but since we lack in the sexual department it only makes me wonder...and I really don't want to get burned again because I've let him in 100% and knows everything about me and my family but as far as trust I would say it's in then 90 percentile. My heart is wrapped in barb wire so to speak.