Question about what to do with my next boyfriend...???

[xxxj1985xxx]

Hi everyone:

Several of you know and some of you don't know about my past Boyfriends.

For those of you who don't, long story short:
My 2nd ex boyfriend and I were living together, boyfriends, etc. In Dec. 2009 he got into his car and left, breaking my heart into 180,000 pieces. No note, no call, no communication, no goodbye, etc.

After going through the depression and stages of getting over a boyfriend, which I'm over him, I started wanting anther boyfriend up until recently where I've accepted being single and the want for having a boyfriend is going away.

But when I was wanting a boyfriend, I started talking to my 1st ex boyfriend who still wanted me. Figured why not go back to him, that he might have changed by now and we could actually be together.

We were talking like normal, and he was telling me about his experiences with guys, and I was telling him about mine. I told him about my last ex bf. And then we were talking like normal up until about a month or so ago.

About a month or so ago he stopped talking to me (I actually think that his mom had something to do with that). I'm not going to try to talk to him because I don't want to make myself look an a** hole lol.

So now I'm nervous that if I tell my next boyfriend about my 2nd boyfriend & what he did that he'll do the same thing. Just like my 1st ex bf virtually did. No note, no goodbye, no nothing.

That when we're just sitting around talking about our ex's and I tell him about my 2nd boyfriend that it will put the idea in his head of how he'll break up with me.

How in the hell am I supposed to modify that?

The only way I can think of to make it so that doesn't happen again is to not tell him about my 2nd bf. But that feels like lieing, even though it's not.

I mean, I know the chances are that he'll probably eventually break up with me, but the least he could do is write an email lol.

And I'm not going through that much depression over a guy again unless he dies and we're married lol lol lol. THat sucked lol.

So if I tell him am I doomed to repeating the same thing over and over again? Or should I just keep it locked up and never tell a guy about him?

[posterpicture]

Honesty can kill a relationship but without honesty, a relationship is meaningless.
Next time, when you date a guy, ask yourself the question : will this be the last one?
If yes, then tell him everything. If he leaves then he misses out.
If no, then play with him until you are bored then leave.

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Well, you don't necessarily have to tell him, I mean, unless he really wants to know what happened and you really trust him...why burden him :d and you KNOW it's not lying when you dont tell him. he just hasn't asked..

[licious]

Ive been in similar situations with my exboyfriends. The best advice I can offer you. Is to take everything really really slow.

If your current boyfriend acknowledges that he will understand. But maybe your not being optimistic about things either.

Its better that your boyfriend and you split up now rather then five years later when it would have really mattered.

If its not meant to be then dont force it. Just relax take it one tiny step forward and enjoy life. Your still young and very attractive. I dont see what you have to worry about.

[JoeyJoJo]

I hate to be nosy, but how long were you with the 2nd boyfriend?
Have you seen him since? Did he move to another city? Just curious. He sounds like a total jerk. Not even leaving a note? That's just cold.
I agree with SlipknotRlZZ. Personally, I wouldn't really feel the need to volunteer the specifics on my past relationships to a new boyfriend (at least in the beginning). Yes, take things slow. If he asks specifically, I would just say "Oh, we just weren't compatible." After a few months you could open up more if you feel the need.

[xxxj1985xxx]

Hi,
Thanks for the responses. Ya I don't know about you guys but I tend to like to know everything about the guy I'm dating lol. The good, the bad, the things I don't want to know, etc. Granted he doesn't have to tell me every single detail, but u know what I mean lol.
His history, family, his boyfriend/girlfriend history, what his birthdate is (memorized), fav tv shows, fav movies, types of movies. fav foods, fav types of music, what he's into, etc, where he likes to go, etc.
That way when it comes time to surprise him, cook for him, please him sexually, etc. I know Exactly what to do lol. Also will know his preferences in any given situation, makes it much easier to make the best choice lol.
I feel like if I don't tell him about my 2nd ex, that I'm not trusting him.
And I think it's Healthy to talk about your ex's. Show's you're really not carrying left over baggage when you can talk about them in a good conversation. I defiantly want to know about them lol.
And I have a feeling that to this day my 2nd ex still feels guilty over what he did...