While ten years is nothing under normal circumstances, I concur with Marshlander, there is another dimension here. It might all be fine but if anything goes wrong, whatever your actual actions and motivations, you will be perceived as having abused a position of influence and authority.
Looking on the brighter side, nothing may go wrong; you need only read some of the posts on here to estimate how likely that is.
Is waiting an option? You could just be casual friends for now and wait until he leaves college.
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He could just be in the closet. Maybe he's not straight after all. Maybe he switched his interest from 'not specified' to 'women' as a defense mechanism for feelings stirring about you. The only way to really know is to ask him. You're not going to get fired for hitting on a student. It might be frowned upon, but it's not grounds for dismissal. Actually. Check your school's policy on that, first. But, usually you can get away with that sort of thing, especially if he's not YOUR student.
If he rejects you, then at least you know you went for it.
As for the age difference, i think that's the thing that would really bother me. Right now I'm sleeping with someone 11 years younger than me, on a regular basis. He's really beautiful, kind, and sweet. I don't know that I could pull the trigger on a full-fledged relationship with him, though. But then again, what's wrong with one sleepover a week, for as long as that lasts?
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I think marshlander is right on the money. You have to decide what is important and if it were me i think I would choose my job security. Put it this way if something is to come out of this meeting it will but I would not push it just yet. Also could be a young guy who likes to converse and is interested in other cultures. If you can give more detailed information you may get better responses also.
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Thanks again for the input! There are some issues that I have never thought about and it's definitely good to know. I am really surprised how nice people are here in this forum, and I'm really grateful.
Met him again today. Sweet smile as usual (I guess I just cannot quit it). But he was obviously backing out -- he asked me if I would hit the gym and when I returned the question to him, he just equivocated.
I really do not have much experience of this sort. The only other crush I had was on a Scottish boy about five years ago. I guess I was too serious and too pushing, and he backed away. There must be something that I didn't do right so that the same thing happens twice. I really like to hear some wake up call.
It's not really a long story for this one. I first met him in the gym about half a year ago, and every couple of weeks thereafter. Every time we checked each other out, and sometimes we exchanged smiles. He was unlike many other guys that I had eye contact with, always moving his eyes away in a shy way. I didn't really think about anything serious until just recently. I got a bit serious into working out and went to a few websites for some advice. Then, I found his profile on one of them. In that profile, he described how working out transformed him both physically and mentally. I found a kind of seriousness and dedication that I did not find in many other people, which was very attractive to me. And his mentioning of how shy and skinny he was before reminded me of my own college years. So, I decided to talk to him. I initiated a short conversation with him the next time we met in the gym, and told him that I thought his transformation was incredible. The next time we met in the gym, he invited me out for a drink -- that's where we're back to my initial post.
Maybe I was so clueless as to confuse friendliness with affection, maybe I was just a bad interlocutor, maybe I was just too serious and scared people away, or maybe I was always in the wrong place at the wrong time ...
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At least you've learned your lesson, right?
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Age doesn't matter if you are in love. He will be with you for who you are or unless if it's not the same feeling that you feel towards him.
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exactly, so you need to balance things. which is more important, your career or your love?
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Since i'm a 15 yo teen in love with an older person, i can see things from a different perspective.
Culture and age has no barriers in love. If you are into this boy go ahead and enjoy it. Trying to find out who's gay, who's not, who's your one, who's not is so tiring. If there's chemistry between you, everything will go fine. maybe the problem isn't the age, but the fear: your fear, that he possibly finds you too old for him and his fear, that you probably find him too young for you.
My advice: make sure he is into you and take the next step (you know what that will be...)
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Gay men tend to have more tolerance for variation in relationships. It might have something to do with the fact there aren't as many family pressures to marry the right woman and have children and all that fun stuff. So you pick the person you're attracted to and want to be with, regardless of age/race/social status, etc.
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