Scared of intimacy.

[Anonymous]

It's been a little over a month since my ex and I broke up. He cheated on me. The last month I've had zero sex drive and don't want to be intimate with anyone. I've always had a high sex drive and no its now is less than zero. Even getting hugs from my friends feels really uncomfortable. I've gone out with my friends and had several chances to hookup with guys. Some of them very good looking guys. A friend said this would help me out, but I can't do that. At this moment in time I really don't want to be close with anyone. Is this normal? I'm actually really scared to get close to anyone or let anyone close to me. Anyone ever felt like this? I'm posting this as anon since I'm actually embarrassed to talk about this.

[posterpicture]

This is very normal don't worry. Every single pain takes time to heal. Hope you can find a person that can heal your pain soon

[princealbertofb]

I think it could go with the territory of mourning a relationship that once gave you everything you needed for sex and the drive to accomplish it. At the moment you must be feeling a little raw from the hurt and breakup still, so I'd give myself a little time to get over it, if I were you. It wouldn't be surprising, actually, if you were feeling a little depressed about it all, which would result in not having much sex drive at all. I'm sure, when you are ready and have finished mourning your lost relationship, your sex drive will perk up quite naturally as you find interest in loving someone new. Good luck with finding the new you. mile:

[Anonymous]

Thanks Prince. You nailed it on the head. I think I might have some sort of depression hitting me. I'm trying my hardest to break it, but it's hard. I just hope it doesn't last that long and I'll be over the relationship soon. What's hard is that my ex moved on so easily, while I'm still stuck dealing with the whole grieving process.

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Hey, don't try too hard. Give it some time. Give yourself some time. If you try too hard to avoid this depression, it might just come back later...

[The Virgin]

i think you've already lost your sex drive. that maybe a problem. i have a feeling that it will be for a long term period. seems like you need to take some sort of medication in order to get back your libido.

[princealbertofb]

Thanks Prince. You nailed it on the head. I think I might have some sort of depression hitting me. I'm trying my hardest to break it, but it's hard. I just hope it doesn't last that long and I'll be over the relationship soon. What's hard is that my ex moved on so easily, while I'm still stuck dealing with the whole grieving process.

I believe we process things differently. Maybe the reason you two broke up was that you weren't exactly on the same wave length re emotions. You probably need to find the strength to forgive yourself for whatever it is that you are blaming yourself for in this break up. The wrongs were probably something to be shared. So, whenever you find the energy to build yourself up again, remember that it's ok to make mistakes and it's also OK to become a more experienced person, one who'll know next time how to react and what to allow and not to allow for your sanity and peace of mind. Maybe you could even find it in your heart to be happy for your ex that he's found a new relationship and that he's been able to move on without too much trouble.
I guess, one of the problems with coming to terms with the breakup is that you've never quite understood why it happened. It's the lack of understanding that makes it hard for us to move on. Would it be possible for you to ask your ex where your differences started being a problem for him (that is, if you need to know)? Set a date with him to talk, if that is possible.
If you think you can move on without having these answers, you could just blame the whole fiasco on "irreconcilable differences" as they say in American courts, which is just the admission that two people aren't always meant to be together for longer than a given period of time. This surely jars with your sense of comfort and commitment. Mostly when life deals us that kind of blow, we ajust and learn to live with it, in time. Once more, good luck. mile:

[The Virgin]

but of course you can always work things out. perhaps starving yourself from any porn related materials would help and bring back your lost sex drive....

[daviondknight]

It's been a little over a month since my ex and I broke up. He cheated on me. The last month I've had zero sex drive and don't want to be intimate with anyone. I've always had a high sex drive and no its now is less than zero. Even getting hugs from my friends feels really uncomfortable. I've gone out with my friends and had several chances to hookup with guys. Some of them very good looking guys. A friend said this would help me out, but I can't do that. At this moment in time I really don't want to be close with anyone. Is this normal? I'm actually really scared to get close to anyone or let anyone close to me. Anyone ever felt like this? I'm posting this as anon since I'm actually embarrassed to talk about this.

It's very normal because you are in the stage of recovering from hurt. And as of now you can't move on. You can still feel about your pain.

[The Virgin]

just tell us of any update regarding your sex life. if it does go on and on for long, it may be like a real issue already.