Hey guys, so obviously I'm new to the forum, and I'm looking for some life help. I'm a college sophomore at a really liberal and gay university who recently accepted his desires. I'm only out to a few friends, but I've started going to a few gay themed meetings and it feels like just a matter of time. (which doesn't mean I'm not afraid). I hope you'll understand what I mean though when I say that accepting it I feel I've cleared a hurdle already if I'm not exactly out yet. Honestly, I think I'm just going to do things that make it pretty obvious and when my friends ask I'll say yes. The thought of that makes me happy.
Anyway, I have two problems. One is that as I wasn't out at all as a freshman or first semester sophomore, I'm not really part of the gay crowd. I was talking to some other (out) guys today and they were gossiping a lot, and I guess I'm pretty intimidated by how I can get my name out there. Any advice? I feel like I've lost time and I want to be a part of it.
My other problem has to do with this guy who's on my sports team. I think he's gay and I think he likes me. His facebook status is ambiguous and last semester one of my other friends on the team (who isn't gay and doesn't know if I am) asked if this boy I'm interested was gay and I said no and I asked why he asked. He said he 'just got vibes.' The same night (the night after I friended him on facebook, so the same night he saw that my status is also ambiguous) we were at a party together and he touched me on the lower back and said "Hey Buddy." Nothing happened though.
I'm not sure how to proceed. I've had dinner with him, but ostensibly just because "I wanted to hang out." I also sort of get vibes. And we text pretty often now, not exactly flirtatiously, but he always jokes and answers at lengths. I really like him and I'm very very tired of just hoping something will happen for me. Any advice?
Thanks so much
cb
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
1. Dont worry. As long as you keep going to these things and having conversations with people, you'll be noticed and 'part of the group' after a while.
2. From what you've said, hes definately gay. Does he know that you are gay? Come out to him away from college somewhere and he may come out to you.
•
First thing to say is "Hello and welcome." 
Well done for taking he first few steps on what is inevitably a lifelong journey. Coming out begins with acknowledging ourselves. When we can deal with that we can begin to deal with other people.
With regard to your friend, coming out is often accompanied by a rush of emotions, which can be horribly upsetting and confusing. Carry on being friends. If you want this relationship to have any mileage you're going to need a large dollop of friendship in the mix anyway. At some point you will find an opportunity to affirm yourself and depending on his response you can take it from there. Of course, if you are in more of a hurry you could always grope him. If he doesn't smack you in the face you could be in with a chance. That, however, is a riskier strategy and may put your friendship at risk 
Good luck.
•
Welcome to the GaySpeak forum and thanks for your contribution. If you have happily accepted the fact that you are gay then you have cleared most of the hurdles in your pash. Whether other guys you meet are gay or not is of little consequence now, if you feel comfortable with them so much the better. Compliment the guy who touches your back ("Wow, that feels nice") if he backs off then nothing lost, but if contact lasts then maybe you are onto something. I have found that physical contact with another guy can establish quite quickly the sort of person you are dealing with. Best of luck, and good wishes....
•
First off, it's not always a walk in the park to come to terms with yourself so that's awesome for you.
Second, it sure sounds like it and he's probably picked up on some of the nervousness. I like the idea mentioned before about building up a friendship. It definitely makes a difference. You guys should just hang out some more.
•
Hey guys, so not to beat a dead horse and thanks for the reply, but I'm pretty depressed right now. Just went to a party (sans the guy who I've been wanting to hook up with him) and met the guy whose been inviting me to all these LGBT themed events. Needless to say (thus the post) he was going home with someone else. He invited me to come to a dance party at his room but I sort of wimped out. I also saw a guy who I might like going back to his dorm room with a boy who I suspected was gay, but didn't think was out. I don't know, I guess I'm confused what to do about this. I'm emotional but still (unreasonably) rational. Should I have gone to one of these guys and said "Hey I'm gay. Hook up with me." Maybe I just don't know how to flirt. I'm not sure; if any of you have had a long dark night of the soul I guess I'm having one; one of the symptoms is probably the desire to have others tell you how to solve it, but I'm not sure what to do. Should I tell everyone hey you know what I'm gay? Should I tell just the guys I know are also gay, who may or may not know about me themselves? I probably need help here. Pretty sad. I'm just really tired of waiting.
•
cbe Wrote:Hey guys, so not to beat a dead horse and thanks for the reply, but I'm pretty depressed right now. Just went to a party (sans the guy who I've been wanting to hook up with him) and met the guy whose been inviting me to all these LGBT themed events. Needless to say (thus the post) he was going home with someone else. He invited me to come to a dance party at his room but I sort of wimped out. I also saw a guy who I might like going back to his dorm room with a boy who I suspected was gay, but didn't think was out. I don't know, I guess I'm confused what to do about this. I'm emotional but still (unreasonably) rational. Should I have gone to one of these guys and said "Hey I'm gay. Hook up with me." Maybe I just don't know how to flirt. I'm not sure; if any of you have had a long dark night of the soul I guess I'm having one; one of the symptoms is probably the desire to have others tell you how to solve it, but I'm not sure what to do. Should I tell everyone hey you know what I'm gay? Should I tell just the guys I know are also gay, who may or may not know about me themselves? I probably need help here. Pretty sad. I'm just really tired of waiting.
Aww love, long dark nights of the soul are kinda of a prerequisite tp the whole thing lol. Your fine. If ya WANNA hook up with one of those guys then go for it, but if you even feel a LITTLE hesitant then trust those instincts. Wait for a guy that will make you blush and flutter those lashes boy :biggrin: I guarentee that your best instincts are better than you give em credit for. All in all, remember, HAVE FUN, It WILL happen, not when you expect it probably lol but where would be the fun if it happened with out the suprise? Dont be sad (there is nothing, nothing is less attractive than a sad man). Be ambitious and if necessary cruel, and tell who ever you like that your gay (they WILL respect you, and if not phuk them). All in all, be a man, that is what you are. Prince of the Earth BABY! :biggrin: Take it from me, there are more of us than people know lol.
PM me if you got questions boy, 
•
shit your school sounds like Glee.
•
I can't PM anyone because I have two posts.
•
it might be 10 or 20 posts to pm?
get talking m8:biggrin:
•
|
