It is interesting you saying that. One of my friends is Jewish and he says that he's glad he is because it made coming out a lot easier than many Christian sects. He reckons that Judaism's take on homosexuality is along the lines of have-pity-on-the-gay-for-their-life-is-harder (I'm paraphrasing here, I'm not religious and only really have a passing interest in the Abrahamic religions as it is the historical basis of much of Western society).
However, in all religions I suspect there is a continuum of beliefs from liberal to authoritarian. If your community is more toward the authoritarian end then I can understand your reluctance to come out.
Closer to my own circumstances, I felt for many years that I couldn't come out of the closet. I even denied to myself that I was gay just so I didn't have to think about it. At least you have accepted yourself which is a good first step. Prior to coming out, I felt that I needed an exit strategy just in case. I've not really had to use it, but it was (and still is) there.
Without knowing more about your exact circumstances, I feel it would be poor judgement to counsel you on what to go next. But just know, there are people who know what you are going through. If you can find a local LGBT group that you can talk to discreetly then that might be a great next step to take. They may be able to give you more help and it may allow you to meet other people in the same situation as you.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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dont worry there are plenty of people like you who are in your situation trust me you are not alone
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thanks for the advice(s).
and yeah i guess at least i don't deny it anymore, i can see how that wouldn't be good for one.
a lgbt group could be interesting. i'll look into that.
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I think you should come out only to good friends in time. Sometimes it is better to start in a secure-zone ... and then go further... or even not if you see the chances to be accepted are not really good. That means not that you play hide and seek with someone.... start to live your own live ... but let not everyone look into your cards...
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well yeah, i do live my own life but i have a few months of college to go. im waiting to finish that then i can jump more towards a career after/aim towards financial indeoendence...
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Sometimes it really is best to wait until you can be financially independent. As long as you're not completely alone and you have some support it's not so bad.
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I was just going to ask your age and how much longer you have to stay there. I would say that given the circumstances changing soon, that it might be okay to trust your gut. If you feel it's best to not come out while there, then go ahead and see where your career takes you. You have something to look forward to, and that can make a world of difference. Talking to people - whether it's only one friend you trust, or guys you meet places like on this site - can also help, because you do realize you're not alone even if you feel alone in that town. Now if you were staying there, that might be a different story because hiding who we are can definitely take its toll. Sometimes the fear is definitely worse than the reality as well, but if you really feel it's not even safe to tell your friends, an unsupportive environment won't be any better for the psyche than the loneliness well. I suggest starting getting ready for job interviews now - not necessarily applying yet, but starting to practice job interview questions, etc - and consider a few more gay-friendly areas you might want to move to and work in as you do begin your job searchin in a couple months
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Best wishes to you. You have to do what you can to keep yourself safe. I appreciate that some orthodox communities are not very accepting of us. You do need to know that others care. It is unhealthy to hide who you are in the longer term, so feel free to say what you need to here until such time as you feel able to move to a community where you can feel safer.
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mile:
