blackmail

[simon]

Simon, thanks. I agree. Problem is that my hands are tied as far as the coming out part is concerned.

true but in most cases I would think blackmail and the stress that would cause would be way worse than his coming out,I would just try and support him,try and make him see that his coming out would be the best option here.

[fredv3b]

If I were you I'd tell the police about the blackmail. Not only to protect various members of your family but also as your 'civic duty' to report crime.

[Cardiganwearer]

You need to consider too that people capable of doing blackmail are not the sort who back off or can be satiated, they will always be back for more. Moving the victim is likely only to delay further approaches and more demands. There is no point negotiating with such people.

Sorry to be so bleak, but the police are your best option.

[simon]

You need to consider too that people capable of doing blackmail are not the sort who back off or can be satiated, they will always be back for more. Moving the victim is likely only to delay further approaches and more demands. There is no point negotiating with such people.

Sorry to be so bleak, but the police are your best option.

agree,no life hiding from that,unless he lpans on never comming out then this has forced his handed but maybe better than running away,and also gets that creep arrested.

[Anonymous]

Thanks again guys. I too am leaning very much to getting the police fully involved. I strongly suspect that this guy has secrets of his own he is trying to hide and is scared of the cops. Probably has a criminal record.

I too think he should just come out, but that is easy for me as a straight person to say. Whatever happens, he does need to get away from there. He only relocated for work and never wanted to move. He seems to have fallen into a very bad crowd. Most, if not all of them, are much younger than he is. Sounds like the type who expect to live like queens at the expense of older men. The creep is a trust fund baby whose family refuses to release any of the money to him. I guess that’s why he has taken up this “career”. I know this guy got a new car a few months back. He is unemployed . . . My relative is not wealthy. It makes me angry that his retirement years have now been put in jeopardy due to him claiming everything from his pension fund. He has no support system (family/friends) where he is now. I'm not going to put up with his nonsense.

In the end, I might just have to sit some of the family down myself and tell them. Some of them will be shocked, I’m sure, but I don’t know of anyone in the immediate or extended family that will cut off ties with someone just for being gay. In fact, I know they will be livid once they know what this creep has been up to. We do have a number of contacts in the police and I for one will not hesitate to use them and the court. He is a very girly type of guy and I can’t imagine that he will be stupid enough to want to risk going to jail – let alone prison. We shall see just how foolish he really is.

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to put up with his nonsense.

referring to the creep.:mad:

[princealbertofb]

Thanks again guys. I too am leaning very much to getting the police fully involved. I strongly suspect that this guy has secrets of his own he is trying to hide and is scared of the cops. Probably has a criminal record.

I too think he should just come out, but that is easy for me as a straight person to say. Whatever happens, he does need to get away from there. He only relocated for work and never wanted to move. He seems to have fallen into a very bad crowd. Most, if not all of them, are much younger than he is. Sounds like the type who expect to live like queens at the expense of older men. The creep is a trust fund baby whose family refuses to release any of the money to him. I guess that’s why he has taken up this “career”. I know this guy got a new car a few months back. He is unemployed . . . My relative is not wealthy. It makes me angry that his retirement years have now been put in jeopardy due to him claiming everything from his pension fund. He has no support system (family/friends) where he is now. I'm not going to put up with his nonsense.

In the end, I might just have to sit some of the family down myself and tell them. Some of them will be shocked, I’m sure, but I don’t know of anyone in the immediate or extended family that will cut off ties with someone just for being gay. In fact, I know they will be livid once they know what this creep has been up to. We do have a number of contacts in the police and I for one will not hesitate to use them and the court. He is a very girly type of guy and I can’t imagine that he will be stupid enough to want to risk going to jail – let alone prison. We shall see just how foolish he really is.

I'm thinking, Anon, that to take legal action against this blackmailer, your relative would need to have proof of the blackmail too, so if it was only in conversation, it's going to be difficult to prove.
If you can convince him to come out to some of his family, he'll feel so much better. We all make mistakes and being acquainted with this 'loser' is certainly not one of his best life choices, but he'll get over it eventually. Tell him he can come to this site for moral support, if he wishes. We might help him to come out to some of the members of his family and help alleviate his fears of the process.

[Virgin]

If I were you I'd tell the police about the blackmail. Not only to protect various members of your family but also as your 'civic duty' to report crime.

if you've only read the previous posts, he already did.

In the end, I might just have to sit some of the family down myself and tell them. Some of them will be shocked, I’m sure, but I don’t know of anyone in the immediate or extended family that will cut off ties with someone just for being gay.

this right here is a very smart thing to do given the current circumstances. the fact that you've made mention in your earlier posts that they're already on their senior years suggests that they're very mature enough and understanding to accept this kind of truth. By doing this as well, you'll lessen the risk for the 'attacker' to damage any sort of relationship between the persons involved. Good thing you have with you the evidences should there be a need for this matter to be brought up to higher legal actions. Godbless.

[fredv3b]

if you've only read the previous posts, he already did.

I am sorry but few of us are blessed with the power to read future posts. The original poster had reported the fact that he himself was being harassed by this individual. As I and several others understood him, he had not (yet) reported the blackmail of his family member.

I too am leaning very much to getting the police fully involved.

[Virgin]

OrphanPip, a month ago the guy started harassing me and sending threatening text messages. A few days ago I went to the police and opened a case naming him as the chief suspect. Also reported the harassment to the cell phone company. They handed it over to their legal department and they are now recording all the phone calls in case it continues. They did contact the owner (I believe he is using someone else’s phone) and warned him that his calls and messages are being monitored. The police told me that they will arrest him if he continues to bother me. I told my relative all of this and he is now afraid that the guy will take revenge should the cops get involved. My view of it is that I am not going to allow this guy to turn my life upside down. I barely know him and have done nothing to him (he lives far away). I found out that he creates trouble everywhere he goes. Frankly, he is nothing but trash. I feel I need to show him that I will not be played with. Things have clearly gone too far as it is. What a mess.

i sure wouldn't want to be around with that kind of neighborhood. but as what you've said recently, you have a number of contacts in the police. that should be enough to fight against this harraser. sad to say in these modern times, there are still a lot of sickos roaming around.

I am sorry but few of us are blessed with the power to read future posts. The original poster had reported the fact that he himself was being harassed by this individual. As I and several others understood him, he had not (yet) reported the blackmail of his family member.

sorry to hit your ego my friend. please refer to above, the one that is in bold letters.