i never came out to my parents and i'm still a happy person living with a happy family. sometimes, being silent is the option cause there's just too much complexities that can happen of me revealing my sexuality.
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I'm out to my friends, and my sisters know. I'm not living some total lie. It does get complicated at times. I have two facebook accounts, for example. But I was trying to relate to the Anonymous poster and give my own experiences, I wasn't looking for advice here. Perhaps when the time is right, I'd ask for support and advice. Right now, I just ask you respect that I have my reasons for doing or not doing what I do.
My friends are great, but they are all straight, married, having babies. I've had a lot of bad luck in my life - car problems, health issues, etc - that the savings I did have were depleted. I grew up listening to my parents fight over money issues, but things are better for them now. I'm not ready to risk losing my family; not without having a cushion of support through a better job (and yes I am looking) or someone's love (ditto). I'll still have my concerns once I do have one of those, but until then those concerns are put on the backburner while I focus instead on my searches.
I am NOT hoping to get accidentally outed, but I am not going to live my life in fear. I don't make up stories about girls; I don't try to act macho; I have dating profiles on gay sites. I am me, even around those who don't know the whole truth about me. I do have problems with anxiety in general, but I am not feeling all this anxiety over this. I do feel regret for not posting my own response anonymously, as I know a lot of gay people are judgmental if you are not out for some reason or other and I'd rather not deal with that here. Thanks.
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I spent a very long time in hiding until I realized that it really doesn't matter much. We are who we are and things always end up working out as they are supposed to. I used to drown myself in tears nearly every day, but that was the past and the past really doesn't matter.
It's funny, once you reach that one big moment and it happens at different times for everyone, you realize that being gay is just a very small piece of the infinite puzzle that makes you, you. After that happens, it doesn't matter who knows.
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