Patience

[SlipknotRlZZ]

How do you learn to be patient?

Patience is something I have always lacked. Much, much more when I was younger, of course. My grandfather whom I love with all my heart (I just have to mention it) is so calm and patient all the time that it's quite irritating sometimes lol. He used to talk to me about how I need to be more patient all the time. I think I might have actually hear something as I am a much more hm...laid back person right now.

My psychologist always says I need patience too. And I understand. I really do. I know why and I know that patience is awesome. In some situations I just feel that I CAN, I am ABLE TO say "Okay now, Im not gonna do anything about this, not yet, I have to wait for a bit" and I am ABLE to do it. And afterwards I just know that it was better to react this way.

But it usually doesn't work. I can't calm down. I become way too emotional in more serious situations and no matter how hard I try to contain my feelings, I can't. On the other hand, I want to have those moments when you think with your heart because i don't wanna be a Math brain who is always thinking and thinking and thinking....
What do you think? What would be the best thing to do here?

I know I need to be patient because there is some hope that life will get better in aspects I'd like for it to get better. And that things might just...work. I can't turn off my pessimistic side, but I know there IS hope. But I need to be patient and wait till the time comes. How do I do that, when my heart wants those things NOW? And I get really upset over it sometimes...

Maybe relaxation and meditation can help. I am thinking about looking up some techniques for beginners. I have a HUGE problem concentrating when I purposedly try to concentrate, so this will probably be hard for me. Does anybody have any experience with meditation/relaxation/whatever? Ideas? :/

So yeah. I know GS isn't really the place for me to talk about this, but I am away and won't be seein my psychologist for some time, so...Thanks to anyone who has taken the time to read this. I appreciate it. :]

Irina

[zeon]

Hi there,
Patience is a virtual... I am the kind of person I want everything done YESTERDAY... If i make my mind up that something is going to be done its done end of.. The way i am patient and learnt to be patient is to understand the meaning of karma... What goes around comes around.. You can easily teach yourself to be patient in life... A key method in this is every month save some money the same amount each day deposit into a jar... At the end of the month go out and spend what you have saved and think to yourself... If i didnt save for one month to buy this I wouldnt have this... If i went ahead and bought it on day one of this month I could have been so skint i wouldnt be able to afford this if something went bad... With patience comes time... One of the most important things i remember as a kind was christmas... Oncve id opened up my gifts I felt as though christmas had finished and couldnt beleive i had to wait another 365 days till another christmas and was mortified at the fact that the cheap and nasty jumpers id got were a result of a years wait!!!! but you cant hurry things in life...

l had to wait patiently for five years before i could afford to move onto the property ladder so why not set yourself some personal goals and self teach yourself to be patient in life... Dont wish it away as you get one stab at it take each day as it comes and never stress laugh at whatever happens it is what i do

kindest regards

zeon xx

[Rychard the Lionheart]

How do you learn to be patient?

So yeah. I know GS isn't really the place for me to talk about this, but I am away and won't be seein my psychologist for some time, so...Thanks to anyone who has taken the time to read this. I appreciate it. :]

Irina

Hi Irina.

Please rant away, we all need a good rant sometimes.

Patience often comes with age, you are still young and eager for change. Try and slow down, think before reacting to events. Sometimes we must push for change and demand it now, otherwise these events may never happen. The skill you need is to learn when to push or to wait, sadly that is a skill which many lack in this world. A relaxed mind and good friends around you, and sometimes talking through you worries withthem may help.

Good luck with your search for patience.

[fredv3b]

How do you learn to be patient?

Treat events in life as you would your own death, better tomorrow than today ;o)

[cry0s]

How do you learn to be patient?

Maybe relaxation and meditation can help. I am thinking about looking up some techniques for beginners. I have a HUGE problem concentrating when I purposedly try to concentrate, so this will probably be hard for me. Does anybody have any experience with meditation/relaxation/whatever? Ideas? :/

When a lot of people first start trying to practice relaxation techniques and meditation they assume that they have to sit in some weird uncomfortable position and chant to special music that might not be your thing. It's absolutely not the case. If you aren't comfortable with something like that in the beginning or can't clear your mind that way (often times you'll just get more impatient because you think it's not working), you just need to do what releases emotion from you. You can relax and/or meditate by listening to music, creative arts, reading, just about anything that takes your mind off stuff. Simply put, just do something you enjoy doing and something that makes you feel good.

[Ultra]

I'll be brutally honest, my patience isn't that great. I need some help and advice on it too.

[marshlander]

Hi Irina.

I'd say being fifteen was an excellent time to rant, pout, rage and demand as much as you like. You'll probably get away with a lot more at this age than you will when you get to thirty

Patience, like honesty, is sometimes over-rated :biggrin:

[azulai]

Hey Irina,

I have two sisters (15 and 17) and you sound perfectly normal. :biggrin: The important thing is that you are being honest with yourself and are self aware. I’m so different from who I was at 15—if that makes you feel any better. You get to know yourself, the good and bad and accept it all and make peace with it. You just kind of slow down.

I try mediating but I’m not always successful. I found it very hit and miss, especially at first. I’ve found that sometimes I required absolute silence, if I listened to music it had to be one instrument (the flute), it couldn’t be a song that would make me want to sing along or if it was too much of a beat I’d want to unfortunately head-bang to it. Anyway, I like to sit in direct sunlight and feel the energy. I have to be absolutely private and by myself. I'm impressed that you want to work on meditation because my sisters would just torture me more rather than meditate to relieve their tensions.

I’m probably breaking all kinds of meditating rules but because I tend to internalize and things sit in my stomach –and this feels really stupid to say but I visualize kind of this “fur ball” that has to come up (yes, that’s gross but well… anyway, you focus on it—all the stress and junk that is upsetting you and start breathing and my hands kind of guide it up (not wild movements, but very slowly) and I breathe through my nose and out my mouth, and it’s like you are taking that “ball” and letting it rise and you are breathing and your breaths get longer and deeper until finally you get it to rise and expel it out your mouth with your breath, I keep doing this a bunch of times until I feel like I am letting it go. (And, yes this does sound stupid as I read it over but well, at least it will make you laugh if nothing else.) And, my breathing is always in through the nose and out through the mouth.

The other one I do is just a mind exercise where I envision myself sitting under a tree near a stream. I use my mind’s eye and watch a leaf fall from the tree, follow it slowly drift down and land in the stream. Then I follow the leaf’s journey along the winding path of the stream. I deep breathe all the while and then at the end the leaf flows into a still pond and just floats. And, you just let yourself be in this calmness.

Sometimes I just can’t relax and I have to get outside and run. We have a soccer field nearby and if the weather is right I go advance the ball from goal to goal. I play the piano and sometimes I just play some really dramatic/moody mad music that just kind reflects my emotions. Maybe you play an instrument? It’s just I have to do something to actively release the energy to calm.

Anyway, you are a sweetheart and just a neat person. "Be patient with yourself." :p You’re going to work this out.

[SlipknotRlZZ]

@Zeon: Thank you very much for replying. I thin your suggestion could be very helpful. There is one problem though. For the past month I have been saving up money from my weekly allowance in order to buy this book that came out last month. But this is horribly stresfull for me. I ALWAYS, which means just always, not only since I decided Im saving up for the book, save up on something. It's like..."okay, so this is too expensive, but I really wanna have it, oh, come on, i have the money to get it..yeah, but I shouldnt be spending that much...: then I buy it and im like "okay, idiot, you are NOT buying anything in the next few days, why did you spend so much?!" and I'm feeling awfullly guilty...And yeah, stuff like that. I AM going to see if it will work in the future though.

Oh, I know it's cool to be demanding too. Just not about everything. Like someone up there mentioned, some things may never really happen just because I've been impatient. So for some situations...And, also, they expect too much from me. I have to be both real mature (because Ive always seemed to be) and act as a teenager. Wtf, just leave me alone.
Okay, see, now I feel like a kid and it's awful.

Thank you, cry0s (hope I spelled it right). I think I can absolutely understand what you are saying. I will try finding "my" thing. I just wish I had more time to do so. And a place too. I mean, I can never do anything I'd really want to when I'm home because of my sister... :/