What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Hi, I've been in a 4 year long term relationship with a PhD student who is graduating in a few months and he just told me he will definately move away and maybe to another country to do research and he doesn't know if he wants to take me with him. He wants us both to take time to think about it and make a decision.

Our relationship hasn't been the most stable, I've cheated on him before and he forgave me and then for the past year or so I have been having doubts about the relationships but then there are moments when I look at him and know he's the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. I just don't know what to do. I'm willing to give up my job and move to another city with him but I can't move out of the country and it hurts that he said he's not sure if he wants to take me.

[Jfierce]

I have a few questions;

1 how old are u?

2 are you also in school/ do you have a degree?

3. Outside of the relationship what are your dreams and goals/ career desires?

4. What is your gut telling you about this whole thing?

[jbrowder24]

Is he relocating to this country indefinitely, or is it for a set amount of time as part of a research project? If the latter, for how long?

Regardless, I'm sorry he's hurt you by expressing uncertainty, but perhaps if this opportunity is something he really wants, whether you're with him or not, he's trying to make it easier on you?

[Virgin]

I've cheated on him before

I was about to give you a kind, positive, angelic advise until i read that part.

he said he's not sure if he wants to take me.

can't blame the guy. you did it once, you can do it again.


but anyway, is long-distance relationship not an option for you two? if not, don't force yourselves.

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Talk to him...ask him whether he would like a long distance relationship. And then, maybe it won't work out at all...you really have to think about it. Ask yourrself. And try getting the guy to spend more time with you, so that you can see how you feel about him, whether the passion is there.

[Cloudpopper]

blah, you cheated. I'd leave your sorry ass on the highway.