Okay then it’s really early morning and I can’t sleep so I’m going to tell you about my “Great What If”.
This what if a biggy for me as it might me quite upset to tell it but I think it may explain a little about how my mind works.
Okay this how it starts if I wasn’t born with my disability and was abled bodied.
In my family a few of us had one thing on their minds when we were young, we all knew what wanted to do when they grow up,
my cousins and my case knew we wanted to be a solider in our local regiment which is now called The Royal Gloucestershire, Berkshire and Wiltshire Light Infantry.
All of us joined the scouts and then apart from me the other two went to the army cadets all I could do was watch them.
This where I started receding into myself, and stop doing things with other people my age as I didn’t want to go to a silly youth club and I wanted to go with my cousins.
So to the want if;
I know I would have been a solider, even as a disabled guy my head I feels like it is only designed in a specific way to be a solider.
Scary I know that sounds, but I think I would have been really happy as that person.
I’ve done tests by the British army that test for how well you would be at particular roles with in the army my results came up as being a sergeant.
It was the army lads who tested me felt really sorry for me, they were so kind to me.
I cry every time I watch the film Black Hawk Down as at the end of the film one of the guys says :
Quote:When I go home people'll ask me, "Hey Hoot, why do you do it man? What, you some kinda war junkie?" You know what I'll say?
I won't say a goddamn word. Why? They won't understand. They won't understand why we do it. They won't understand that it's about the men next to you, and that's it. That's all it is.”
That cuts deep for some reason really deep, I feel I should be there with them Silly I know but that’s how its………..
Sorry guys this is more painful than telling your best mate you’re gay and you know he’s going to hate you afterwards..