Lost

[Anonymous]

Hey guys...

Sometimes - okay, most of the times - I feel so confused about myself. For starters, I was always a little behind other people my age when it comes to romance and sex and stuff. I first kissed a boy, mostly because of peer pressure, when I was fifteen, thought it was digusting and never did it again. I don't really know when I started noticing that I might like girls better, but since I never fell for anybody it never seemed an issue wheter I was gay or not. Six years later I still haven't kissed my first girl (or another boy, for that matter) or fell in love - heck, or even just liked liked anybody -, and since I have self esteem issues is not likely that I'll go up to somebody and say "Hey, I do't know how to kiss, but let'a make out?". To make matters worse, I don't have any gay friends that I might talk about stuff like this. My straight friends are cool with it, but it's not the same, they don't really understand what I'm going through. Sometimes I even wonder am I really gay or what??

[Jfierce]

Believe it or not you are more normal then you think. About your low self esteem what do you think is the cause? What do you think you can do to improve it? What are your strengths? What kind of things do you enjoy doing?

As far as making gay friends do you live in or near a large city where you can meet other gays? It's great if you can keep your straight friends and also make some well adjusted gay ones. The last thing you want to do is hang out with others who have severe self esteem issues as you'll just drag each other down. You may want to try doing volunteer work or look online to see if there are any gay groups that do activities that interest you.

[jbrowder24]

I was similar to you as well. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself about if you have kissing skills... it's really not that hard, though some people are better kissers than others and sometimes it depends what you like, etc. I actually was similar to you and kind of just went with it when someone came up to kiss me just because I wanted the experience, but they used way too much tongue for what I was comfortable with and my first kiss experience was actually pretty awful, though memorable. And it took me a while to experience love as well; some people are just on different timelines and we aren't always vocal about that because we do often feel alone and embarrassed... but there are others out there going through or that have gone through the same/similar.

[zeon]

Hello there,
I am sorry you were peer pressured into kissing another girl and your self esteem feels a bit low... I was reading your post and felt that these two may go hand in hand because of what had happenned... Growing up and not knowing how to kiss isnt a bad thing because when you meet someone they may be able not to kiss properly... I know on a friday and saturday night alot of people dont kiss they just chew half your face off in a drunken stuper and make a right tit of emselves..
With regardless to repairing this you need to work on self esteem issues... My easiest advice for you would be to grab hold of yourself the next day after reading this look in that mirror and say Right I am now going to do what I need to do to make myself feel 100% better inside.. I am going to get my life sorted and get everything going... I had self esteem issues when I was younger and was petrified of walking into a local pub and I got round this by picturing in my mind what I wanted to do... I would first off walk to the corner where the pub was and walk past it glancing in.. Of course people looked back as if i am an alien but thats normal its curiousity.. I would then picture myself walking in walking to the bar ordering a drink and sitting down on my own just to show my prescence within the room.. Over time i built up my esteem and now... I do what I want when I want and you can do what you want when you want and if you set yourself free your find your true path within life

Kindest regards

zeon

[Patrick]

I don't think you're gay, you will understand it later!