Middle Aged Closeted (Married) Gay Man

[Rusty]

Hi Mike nice to meet you, Thanks to all for the welcome. I guess I should give some more info about me... There is kids involved. I have three girls (18, 16, 13) when they all move out then I will come out then FOR SURE!!! but until then ??????? sorry for not giving that info earlier....

[DarkDaisuke]

Aw sorry about that Still its courageous of you to wait that long :/

[Gpbi]

Welcome to gayspeak,
I truly believe that human relations are in general complicated so its better to be honest in order to simplify them! Well, I suggest it whould be better to have a long conversation with you wife cause after all is both of you who decides what will happend with your marriage and your kids...
Hope it will be better, and maybe you won't wait that long and your doughters will accepts you as you are!

[Kiri]

I think you should divorce from your wife because if you don't you're not being truthful to yourself or her.

[marshlander]

Hello, Rusty, and a little welcome from me too. At the risk of boring old-timers here I was married when I was nineteen. It was a long and mostly difficult relationship and we eventually separated when I was about your age. My youngest children (twins) were sixteen at the time. I had always intended trying to keep going until they moved out, but I didn't make it. Had I stayed I am almost certain I would not be here today to be writing this message. Things got very difficult.

The breakup was every bit as difficult as the relationship had been and it has taken many years to deal with it. However, at last I feel that we are making progress. My lover and partner of the past eight years (who has already replied in this thread) attended a family event for the first time last week, when he came to England to attend my father's funeral. My ex was there; she had kindly offered to cater for the wake. Given her actions in the past and the comments she has made over the years I have always kept them apart. It seemed only fair to both. However she approached him at the cemetery and pointing out a nearby headstone bearing her given name in large letters she remarked that he had obviously made arrangements for her funeral! It broke the ice.

I don't know if they can ever be friends, but it would be nice to think they could be one day.

Trying to stay faithful while you work out what being gay means is an almost impossible task. The path ahead is going to be a tricky one to negotiate, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Being able to be yourself is a fantastic reward.

Good luck and best wishes to both you and your wife.