Going to a gay bar in a new city...by myself

[mattm816]

So I haven't posted in a long time, but here's what's going on.
I'm living in a new city, going to college. I really, REALLY want to get involved in the gay community here, and see where that leads. But that hasn't been as easy as I originally thought it would be. One of my friends, who is also gay, told me about some of the local gay bars and highly recommends that I visit one of those. And I would, except that I have nobody to go with, so it would be super awkward, and I'm not always the best at creating conversation. So, does anyone have any advice on how to approach this situation? I mean, I really would like to go to a bar, if only to check it out. But I'm absolutely terrified that I will leave after 20 minutes just because I don't know anybody and it's too awkward. This move to my current city has absolutely killed my social life, which has been awful. All I want is to find a social group to fit into, and maybe someone special.
Anyways, that's pretty much it. Thanks! :biggrin:

[Bourani]

Same question here. Never been to a gay bar. Lots of them here, wanna go but have absolutely no idea how the hell i'm supposed to go there alone!

[fredv3b]

I mean, I really would like to go to a bar, if only to check it out. But I'm absolutely terrified that I will leave after 20 minutes just because I don't know anybody and it's too awkward.

So what if you go to a bar, have one drink, get a feel for the place and then leave? If during the course of that drink you start chatting to someone that's great, have another. If that doesn't happen that particular evening, what's the big deal?

[marshlander]

I forced myself to go to the local gay pub a couple of times a month for about two years before I found the courage to talk to anyone. Hopefully your experience would not be like mine, but now I still go regularly, know plenty of people to talk to and I try to make sure I speak to anyone I see who seems to be on their own. It's easy enough to include them in other conversations if they want to be included.

Good luck finding a new social life.

[Synaesthete86]

I was the same, but its enjoyable - just sit and chill, because if there's one thing I've noticed, there are usualy others alone too. People go to bars alone. It happens. Go during the day, take a book, sit in the garden if the bar has one, relax in the sun. Another good place to sit is at the bar - where many sit, alone and in groups. You will probably end up talking to the bar staff since they are usually friends with everyone too.