Gay Sex and being Disabled?

[sweetlad2010]

Hey people as some of you know I have a muscle wasting disease which is caused by becker muscular dystrophy.

Right I'm starting on the road of having romantic encounters with other males.
I'm not a virgin as in the past when I was a little stronger I had a boyfriend while
I was study at an agriculture college. I found with this guy I really liked being bottom
and being told what to do, within reason lol. I have three things I what to ask:

I will start by saying a little about myself, my condition makes my arms really weak which means I can’t hold my own weight
and my back is weak to so I can’t bend over by myself, and lastly I find it hard to get up from the floor.
What I want to ask first is, can you advise me of any positions my partner and I could do, that is top and bottom,
without making me too tired. I want to last as long as any abled bodied guys could.

My second subject I would like to ask about, do you think the reason I like being submissive during sex is to do with my condition or to do with the way my head is made up.
On the same line as what I’ve just asked. Do you think I have to be careful of some guys as they could take advantage of me because of what I’ve just talk about?
I am looking into this at the moment and I am talking with my doctor and other similar services, but I am interested in what you lot would say?

I haven’t found much information for disabled LGBT people who are interested in have sex. I’ve found plenty on straight sex though.
Are some abled bodied people scared of the idea that disabled people are having gay sex lol?

[sweetlad2010]

Sorry for my forward talking in this post.

Everything I have read so far isn't very positive at all off the internet.

There is a reason I put this up as I thought it may get some more disabled people in joining this forum.

Every forum I've posted this same subject. Nothering was every put on it.

[sweetlad2010]

Well I'll put something up my self, I've found a book called "Queer Crips: Disabled Gay Men and Their Stories" by John R. Killacky and Bob Guter.

Book Description

"Queer Crips reverberates with the sound of cripgay voices rising to be heard above the din of indifference and bias, oppression and ignorance. This collection of compelling first-person narratives is at once assertive, bold and groundbreaking, filled with characters and character. Through the intimacy of one-one-one storytelling, gay men with mobility and neuromuscular disorders, spinal cord injury, deafness, blindness and AIDS, fight isolation from society - and each other - to establish a public identity and a common culture".

Taken from http://www.jscampus.co.uk/shop/product_d...branchid=0

[sweetlad2010]

I feel so alone with this issue, I cant find anything that is usefull and every I have read I find was negative.

[princealbertofb]

I was thinking lying face down on the bed, you can bottom and your boyfriend can top... or spooning from the side might also be an option as not too much weight needs to be carried for either. Can you sit on him? In which case that would also be an option. There is no need to hold yourself up with your arms.

[OrphanPip]

Would bottoming while laying on your side work for you? Like in a sort of spooning position. You can also maybe use pillows to help make holding certain positions a bit easier.

I attended a lecture on the overlapping of Crip Theory and Queer Theory a while back, but I haven't kept the notes sadly, I don't even remember what the readings were.

Edit: Prince beat me to the suggestion.

[sweetlad2010]

I was thinking lying face down on the bed, you can bottom and your boyfriend can top... or spooning from the side might also be an option as not too much weight needs to be carried for either. Can you sit on him? In which case that would also be an option. There is no need to hold yourself up with your arms.

My condition affects my legs too so siting on him wont work as I cant move my self lol, you know (I'm shy soz) lol.

Would bottoming while laying on your side work for you? Like in a sort of spooning position. You can also maybe use pillows to help make holding certain positions a bit easier.

I attended a lecture on the overlapping of Crip Theory and Queer Theory a while back, but I haven't kept the notes sadly, I don't even remember what the readings were.

Edit: Prince beat me to the suggestion.

Yeah that would work fine, I lost my V laying on my back with my legs over the shoulders of my parter, I think I could still do that.

But I would'nt mind trying top at some point too....

[sweetlad2010]

Why am I finding this such a taboo subject?

[jbrowder24]

I am not sure why it is coming off as taboo. Maybe it's just hard to find answers when different conditions affect different people in different ways. As for yours specifically, whether it's cause and effect of being submissive or just a coinicidence (as many guys are naturally submissive) it's hard to say but I guess it works out better for you? As for being careful of guys, perhaps no more so than anyone else. There should always be some common sense involved with meeting guys; I don't think you'd be at extra risk, though you never know. Meeting in public places and such is a good thing though.

And you never know with guys either. Some guys might love to suck without needing to receive it; I've encountered a couple of those types. The others above give some good input as well.

[fredv3b]

Right I'm starting on the road of having romantic encounters with other males.

Great news and good luck.

What I want to ask first is, can you advise me of any positions my partner and I could do, that is top and bottom,

I agree with Pip, the 'spoons' position could well be good for you, I am certainly very fond of it. It also has the advantage of being able to cuddle together immediately after sex.

My second subject I would like to ask about, do you think the reason I like being submissive during sex is to do with my condition or to do with the way my head is made up.

It's the way your head is made up. However might your condition given you life experiences that lead to your head being made up that way? I have no idea.

On the same line as what I’ve just asked. Do you think I have to be careful of some guys as they could take advantage of me because of what I’ve just talk about?

I think regardless of what you've just said some guys could take advantage of you and you need to be careful.

I haven’t found much information for disabled LGBT people who are interested in have sex. I’ve found plenty on straight sex though.
Are some abled bodied people scared of the idea that disabled people are having gay sex lol?

You have the misfortune of being a member of a double minority. I suspect not many able-bodied people even think about disabled people having straight sex, and even fewer about them having gay sex.