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Can't take credit for these, but ...
#1
... they make me laugh ... so I'm going to reproduce them here - just a few or I'll swamp the board with the GARBAGE I've got ... but here we go !!

I believe this one originated in the US ...

"Why I'm so Tired"

For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, too much pressure from my job, earwax buildup, poor blood or anything else I could think of.

But now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked.

Here's why:

The population of this country is 273 million.
140 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.

Which leaves 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 19 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.

Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 14.8 million people who work for state and city governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.

And there you are,
sitting on your ass,
at your computer, reading jokes.

Nice. Real nice.

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
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