Scared To Visit My First Gay Club

[rookies2007]

My one and only friend wants to take me to my first ever gay club. However, I am too scared to attend. Why? Rejection- fear for guys my age or younger will think I am not good looking. Since the age of 13 I've been rejected-i've been called names and worse. I no longer trust people! I have alot of pain hidding inside and wish I could talk with someone my own age.

[fjp999]

You really have to be stronger. If that is you in your pic then you are very handsome. You do look shy in your pic. You really need to come out of your shell.

I cant tell you how to do that. What are your interests? When I was a kid I was interested in magic tricks and got pretty good. I started doing magic shows and got over my shyness.

Maybe doing some charity work. That will get you outside your normal routine and force you into different situations.

Anyways, about the gay club thing.... it sounds like youre too nervous to go just now. First go to relax and enjoy yourself. When people see you enjoying yourself they may be interested in joining you.

good luck,
frank

[Shadow]

Good advice from fjp999 - I'd just add that if you're going out gay clubbing, you have to consider why you're going ... if you're going to dance and drink and have a laugh then that's sound, obviously, but you'll benefit more from it if you're able to find a way of, as fjp999 has already said, cutting loose from the fears and concerns that are holding you back (and with a bit more information from you, we might be able to offer you some more tailored suggestions as to how to do that).

If you're going to try and make new friends, you might find that slightly harder, purely because clubs are generally quite noisy and it's difficult to have in-depth conversations with people over the pumping bass .

Either way for what it's worth, you look fine to me - it sounds like you just need a way of believing that for yourself mile:.

.

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[Michael]

And......you've already stated you are going with a friend. So there you are. You already have each other to talk to (at the very worst) and laugh and dance and have a couple of drinks with. I can see where going all by yourself would be a bit intimidating, but you're not.

Shadow is right. Clubs are a hard place to really meet other people...at least to make friends. Loud, crowded and most people are also with their friends. If you want to actually meet people or make new friends I would suggest a bar instead. It's normaly not as loud and people are usually more interested in having a chatt.

But remember, not having people come up and talk to you doesn't alwas mean what you think it does. People are always so quick to jump to only one pre-assumed conclusion. No one is taling to me, Ie: I mus tbe ugly, boring...whatever. They never stop and think that other people may also be shy, taken, with friends, nervous, also think they are unattractive (no matter how good looking they really are) and a whole host of other things.

PLUS, and this is really important, not everyone is made for everyone. Sometimes we like people who are not interested in us, and sometimes people like us when we are not interested in them. There's no telling for taste or why people "click". You might not "click" with 20 people in a row and have the next 20 think you're terrific.

Relax and try to enjoy yourself for the experience of going out and having a good time with the friend you are with....everything beyond that is a plus. As the guys have said, once you start to relax you'll also give off the vibe that you are approachable.

See, there is a huge chance that it's not your physical appearance but your demeanor that is puting people off. If you send a vibe that you don't want to be talked to, you can't expect people to come up to you.

Relax, enjoy the time for what it is.....and see what happends. Don't limmit yourself by setting yourself up to fail before you even begin. Have fun!!!!

[Shadow]

You've raised a number of very good points there babe, including (as you've already pointed out) arguably the most important, being that if you're only ever looking at a situation from one perspective, you risk missing the bigger picture ...

... it's always possible that you're missing something because you're not looking with the right eyes ...

*sip*

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[GayComputerDude]

Rookies - you're just going out with a friend - it just happens to be a gay club ... would you feel the same fear if you were going to a straight club? Just go out with your friend and enjoy the company and the experience - the rest will take care of it itself when you realize it doesn't matter where you are and all you have to do is be YOU.

[Ian]

Dont worry about going to the gay clubs. I was nervous the first time that i went but onc you hve gotten over that first hurdle you have nothing to worry about. You will wonder why you where so worried when you go times after ur 1st.

Just get your face out ther babe and u will lose the nerves!!!!

[The Virgin]

don't mind them.. you'll have fun in gay clubs.. trust me...