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Coming out some more.
#1
Hi everyone,
I posted way back in January about my coming out to some friends last year and things remained pretty much the same until today. The friends I made last year are great and they all accept me, but I've been finding it hard to tell anyone else. I feel great about myself, but still worry about what everyone else will think.
Then last Friday night I went to an old friends house, I've known her for approx 15 years, and we were talking about what we've been doing lately. I told her what I'd been doing, including going to the Civil Ceremony of two of my new friends. She then said "You seem to have a lot of gay friends now. Are you gay?". I didn't know what to say. I didn't know if she was being serious or joking and I ended up trying to change the subject. She said it didn't matter if I was, but I still couldn't say it and we ended up talking about something else.
I spent all weekend thinking about it and trying to decide whether to tell her or not. Then when I was checking my emails this morning I noticed that she was logged on to messenger. I sent her a short good morning message to see if she was at her computer and she said hi back. I then said "The answer to the question you asked me on Friday night is yes", and I waited for her response. I was so nervous I felt sick. I kept thinking I should have told her in person, but the opportunity was there and I knew If I didn't tell her I would continue to worry. I was so relieved when she thanked me for telling her and said she was fine with it. I told her I'll call her tonight, as I want to speak to her instead of messaging and she said ok.
I'm happy and nervous at the same time, as this is the first person I have told outside of my new friends, but I know that it is for the best.
I'll post again tomorrow after I have spoken to her. I'm getting there slowly but surely. I just hope it doesn't take me another six months to tell the next person. I still haven't told the most important people, my parents. I'm sure I'll get there though.
Speak to you all soon.
Take Care
Jared.
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#2
As I didn't realize until after college and a lot of my friends had spread out, it was a bit of a process for me as well as opposed to one big announcement. It definitely gets easier though and most people will be cool with it like your friend. Good luck, and you can always come here for support as needed!
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#3
I rang my friend last night and it couldn't have gone any better. She was so supportive and even wants to fix me up. She hadn't told her husband, who I am also friends with, so I told her to tell him while I was on the phone and he was great about it too. I can't believe how well it went after worrying about it so much. I know I've got a way to go, but I feel so much better now that I've got the support of some of my oldest friends.
Thank you jbrowder24 for your support. I'll keep you updated if and when I have more news.
Take Care.
Jared.
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#4
Jared, it's great to hear how well things have gone for you. I was surprised how good all my friends were about everything.
Fred

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
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#5
Hello Jared,
Coming out is a great thing and it increases self confidence... l wouldnt worry what people say about you... You have ya heard screwed on by sounds of it so those who dont know if you wish to tell em i found with me sooner was better rather than later as it gives more time for them to accept and over come it...

kindest regards

zeon zx
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#6
I'm in sort of a similar boat. I've come out to my best friend, and my immediate family, and they all took it exceedingly well. I was sure that once I told my parents, everything would get easier from there, but for some reason I'm still finding it difficult to tell my other friends. The strangest thing is, I'm even resistant to telling my gay friends. I know that when the moment is right I will find the courage to fill them in, but I'm finding it hard to believe that this gets easier the more I do it.

Congrats on your friend accepting you. I feel like companies should hire us as motivational speakers. If straight people understood how scary it can be for us to come out, they would wonder how we ever found the courage to do it in the first place.
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#7
congratulations, nice story Smile
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#8
Yes, a nice story, Jared... One thinks the hardest is to tell parents and sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. I told my mother in an e-mail, and she phoned back saying, did you think I was born with the last rain? Evidently not. Thanks, mum. I knew, when I posted the e-mail, that no matter what, my mother loved me. I was right. She also loved my boyfriend. May she now rest in peace.
Good luck with the next people you tell.
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#9
I'm really happy for you. When I first came out 18 months ago the first person was the hardest to tell (a gay friend), but after that everything just sort of flooded out. I got all my closest friends and immediate family within about 15 days.

It is great to have the support of people you've known for a long time.

It does get easier with each person. I've not found anyone yet who's been negative in anyway. And these days I refer to my "other half" or "fiancé" which are both gender neutral (the latter when spoken at least) to people I don't yet know and then eventually drop in a personal pronoun (he/him/his/himself) which seems to pass more easily.
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#10
You're a much happier man, Colin, if I may so. Kudos to you and your other 半 (1/2)
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