The lamest of the excuses....

[spotysocks]

Weight :
I am not fat , my bones are heavy...

Breaking up :
It's not you it's ME!

Beeing late:
I didnt overslept , my alarm clock didnt work this morning...
God, so much traffic you cant imagine!
I had a flat tire in the middle of nowhere...
I hate the public transport, is always late...

Cheating:
Its not what it looks like...
You are back early...
It was RAPE!
They spiked my drink...
My cock got stucked in there, no idea how this happened
It was only a blowjob...