Advise Needed w/ "friend"

[posterpicture]

Move on.
One of the mistake of gay man ( or any man ) who is looking for a relationship is we always look at "unavailable" man.
"unavailable" doesn't mean he is in a relationship. "unavailable" means he is not ready for a relationship.
You have accept the fact that some men are just not ready. There is nothing we can do about that, we can't change him.
You can wait for him but it will be a wasted of time. Every moment you spend with that man makes you waste time and opportunity to be with another man who may be your Mr. Right.

[Toppo]

Well if I was in that situation I'd give him the ultimatum of him having to choose who he really wants. Sounds like he's trying to avoid the pain of having to seperate from neither you or his BF. It's easier for him to just continue with the status quo. If he can't make the decision then no matter how hard it is going to be for you, you should just walk away and try and get along with your own life. Ideally you will never be entirely happy while this situation continues.
Nearly 10 years into my current relationship I still very occasionally think of my previous BF. Wonder what he's been up to. Even considered dropping by to just say Hi,to see how he's been. Ten years on I still believe it was the right thing for me to do. It was a very hard thing for me to do but now I'm in a relationship that I'm more satisfied with.

[princealbertofb]

Very true.
But would you trust someone who you know is a cheat?
Ive seen people get together after affairs and it doesnt have trust in the relationship. But then again there are also storys of it going the other way and they stay together forever xD

Jamie, I know what you are saying but I think we know plenty of people who, even after one of them has cheated, are ready to give their couple second, third, or more chances, because ultimately, they've judged they have more to lose by becoming single again.... Sometimes it's no so much a question of choice in heart matters, but in materialistic conditions. Some people find it in their hearts to forgive and some people are a bit masochistic... We are very resiliant, in fact, both physically and emotionally.

[princealbertofb]

Well if I was in that situation I'd give him the ultimatum of him having to choose who he really wants. Sounds like he's trying to avoid the pain of having to seperate from neither you or his BF. It's easier for him to just continue with the status quo. If he can't make the decision then no matter how hard it is going to be for you, you should just walk away and try and get along with your own life. Ideally you will never be entirely happy while this situation continues.
Nearly 10 years into my current relationship I still very occasionally think of my previous BF. Wonder what he's been up to. Even considered dropping by to just say Hi,to see how he's been. Ten years on I still believe it was the right thing for me to do. It was a very hard thing for me to do but now I'm in a relationship that I'm more satisfied with.

Glad you realised, Toppolino! You found a way to make an adult decision, and you have thrived from it... I understand, however, that there is a little bit of a problem on the sex issue with your current boyfriend?

[Toppo]

Glad you realised, Toppolino! You found a way to make an adult decision, and you have thrived from it... I understand, however, that there is a little bit of a problem on the sex issue with your current boyfriend?

Yep. True. That's why I said at the end of my last post 'more satisfied'. I may be having dark days in paradise now, but it is certainly a major step up from my last relationship.

[Toppo]

Yep. True. That's why I said at the end of my last post 'more satisfied'. I may be having dark days in paradise now, but it is certainly a major step up from my last relationship.

My last relationship I had the opposite problem. He was 9 to 10 years older than me, heaps of sex but not much substance in the rest of the relationship. Maybe I can finally get it right the third time round. :p

[warmpixels]

Hmm... sticking with him while he cheats (technically, yes, that's cheating) or severing ties... either way, it's going to hurt. There's no escaping that. Usually in a break up, the only thing that will help you heal even a minute faster is the knowledge that you've done everything you could.