Do I belong here?

[curios]

In all seriousness I'm really not sure if I am gay yet. I probably wouldn't fight too hard if someone tried to take me right now so that might be a sign...but I am much more attracted to penis than I am the male face.

I watch a lot of shemale porn and have gotten to the point where I can no longer deny that i would want one to make me her b____h. I've tried de-virginizing my hole but that has only given me small orgasms and has made me need to crap almost after each session.

To be honest I don't want to be gay but I can see it as poetic justice seeing as how homophobic I was when I was younger, now I'm a c___ksucker. Awesome. Anyway thoughts please?

I hope I didn't offend anyone this is a real question. I'm just confused and could really use a few fresh perspectives

[fenris]

Hi and Welcome :-)

There are so many ways.... how you can be... who you are. Important is, that you don´t have any fear to accept you. Maybe you are bisexual, gay, straight... but between black and white is a big grey-scale ... and if you want you can find many colors more mile:
Don´t set yourself under pressure ... watch out what you can be .. whats your place in life and if you think that you can handle it - try out what you want. There is no need to be ashamed... you are you... and whatever you are ---> no need to be ashamed, never as long you are a honest and fair guy.
Read here in the Forum .. and I´m sure you will find many threads who can show you your way... and if you are not sure or if you have questions.. you have only to ask and I´m sure that you can find a answer.

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Well...why don't you try getting with a guy? I think that would be a very sure way to find out what your feelings are. You belong wherever you want to belong...You could be just sexually attracted to guys, and that's okay, just explore things and see what you like. :]

[curios]

maybe i should...i'm not sure but if i'm wrong i don't know if i could forgive myself... but its crazy how i dont really get hard over girls now...

[curios]

Thanks a lot... i guess i need to relieve myself of any pressure i can.

also....sorry to be asking this but is getting it u[ the ass [I]supposed[I] to make you crap 5 times a day? seriously idk if somethings wrong here but its just kinda freakin me out a bit

[SleepTalker]

Dont rush yourself. If you have stronger feelings for guys then try chatting with guys and see where that goes. As for going to the toilet afterwards, i have no idea. Ive never encountered that before. Im sure it isnt something serious. Its prob bc you arent used to it yet.

[zeon]

Hello there,
Coming out and accepting yourself as gay is never easy... Dont rush it and take your time experiment with different things and see whats what... It may be worth maybe one day having a male partner or see yourself as bi sexual to understand gay life without feeling scared and admit to yourself your gay later on in life.... l realised my sexuality at 12 and didnt accept with it till i was 18 and know how confusing it gets but once u find ur place in life your be fine

[azulai]

If you are in fact gay or somewhere on the spectrum other than 100% straight, you need time to accept yourself because we are fed so much stuff that breeds guilt. Sometimes, the first and toughest "coming out" is to ourselves or what we think others expect us to be.

You describe yourself as homophobic as a younger person, well, sometimes we know things about ourselves deep inside and we don't like what we see. It doesn't have to be gay or straight, it could be anything about ourselves. So, we don't accept it; we don't want it. The thing is now that you are older, and becoming more open-minded and self-aware, you can change your outlook. You have to develop a love for yourself, so that no matter what you see, you love yourself for who you are.

You do need to be careful about using the term shemale. I know you were referencing porn but I think it is offensive to trans women (male-to-female (MTF) transsexual or transgender individuals). Someone please correct me if I'm wrong.

IDK, but maybe the fact that you find them attractive and not the masculine face, might just be showing you your attraction preferences are to trans women, or pretty, fine boned men. Have you read anything about the designer, Phillip Blond --a very high profile, successful, and beautiful individual? I'm not sure if he's transsexual but maybe develop a healthy respect for those individuals and it might make your journal of self-acceptance easier. IDK, just my thoughts.

This was your response to the possibility of experimenting with another guy:

maybe i should...i'm not sure but if i'm wrong i don't know if i could forgive myself... but its crazy how i dont really get hard over girls now...

Could you elaborate a little more? What are you going to have to forgive?

This is just my opinion, but I don't think you should experiment yet because if I'm reading you correctly here, you see man-on-man as a negative and you would feel guilty. So, maybe you need to really do some soul searching. Is it cultural? Is it religious? Dialog with others, dialog with yourself. Question why you feel this way? Work on what's inside of your mind before you work on the physical.

[toomuch45]

You do need to be careful about using the term shemale. I know you were referencing porn but I think it is offensive to trans women (male-to-female (MTF) transsexual or transgender individuals). Some one please correct me if I'm wrong.

no your right about that one it does offend transgenders because they dont like being called a feminine man

anyway take azulais advice from what i read you should be who you are and love what you love

btw welcome to gs enjoy your stay

[curios]

I'm sorry about using the word "shemale" its just written across all the porn sites and I didn't know...

As far as "forgiving myself" I'm not sure how to put this in a way that doesn't make me seem like a complete jackass. I am not eloquent in case you haven't noticed.

But I'm not sure...its just family really. I mean other than that I really wouldn't care. I have felt more and more detached from my penis as I got older. I could never really bang a girl unless i was using pills and it just feels do damn uncomfortable half the time.

Admitting this feels weird as I type it but you guys are just so...accepting. And yeah I have a lot of inhibitions some that I don't know that I'll be able to entirely beat others that I don't have the courage to admit that I am willing to test.

I was never a Romeo but I always thought I like girls growing up...I'm not sure where all this is coming from. To be honest its come out a lot more the more marijuana ive been smoking. if i found a trans woman i know id let her take me now no questions asked...

I shaved all my body hair recently too and i keep feeling this irresistible urge to shave as often as i can and to keep softening my skin with lotion. some part of me feels really ashamed the other feels really liberated...not sure where to go from here...but i might as well stay this uncharted course.