I wrote my mom a letter telling her how i feel and how i want her to support me and im so nervous. idk what to do. I wanna send it but i just cant bring myself into sending it. any advice?...
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
I think what you are doing right now is smart. It's good to write what you feel, but to not send it right away also gives you a chance to reflect about how things are worded, etc. I do think it'd be good to say *something* to your mom, but perhaps you want to start from scratch and keep it nice and simple... but you know what's in the letter; you know what your mother is like best; etc. so ultimately it is up to you and what you feel is right. Just try to remember she's been going through an adjustment as well.
•
Sometimes putting your thoughts down on paper is easier than expressing the same things in person, you can say what you want and what you feel without the heat of the moment confusing the situation, it's a great idea to write a letter.
My advice, hand it to her in person, you'll both need a hug when she has read the letter.
•
I've done the letter thing before, though for different reasons entirely.
It's great to figure out everything you wanna say, and how you wanna say it. But like these guys said, I'd recommend either using it as a reference sheet and simply talk to her, or hand her it and let her read it in front of you.
Unless your mom lives somewhere else of course, in which case I'd suggest calling or webcam conversing with her.
It's a big step man, you'll eventually be ready to make the move.
•
i came out to my mother in a letter, because i didn't have the guts to say it to her. at first i was terrified...i didn't know how she would react, how she would take it, hell i was expecting her to kick me out and never want anything to do with me anymore, but i was pleasantly surprised when after she read the letter she started to cry and said this one sentence, "your my son, i love you for who you are no matter what happens, or no matter who you may love you will always be my son and that's all that matters." now i know this doesn't happen with every parent so i guess you can say i was one of the lucky ones but look writing down in a letter is sometimes if not the best way to say something to someone and be able to say everything you want to without missing something or being to nervous to speak. i say when you feel it is time to do it do it. read your letter over make sure all your feelings and what you wanna say is in it and then take the leap off the cliff, who knows your parent might be right there to catch you...good luck!
•
I like the letter technique, that's what I did with my mother... Anyway we are a family of writers so I guess it's normal for us. I certainly didn't hand it to her though, since I just e-mailed it. When we got back home, there was a message on my answerphone and she said that she wasn't born with the last rain. She'd suspected and known all along. To be honest, this happened when I was 44 or 45 and I had told her about a gay relationship I'd had when I was 21. She hadn't wanted to hear it at that time. So many year later and many more reasons not to disclose, I plucked up the courage. I cried salty tears as I wrote it realising, all the while that no matter what, she loved her children, me included... It was a great relief, to see that she also appreciated my boyfriend. I miss her a lot now that she's gone. But the one thing I did that was good was to come out to her, so she knew that I was happy and taken care of.
Good luck, ZS.
•
Here's an idea. Why don't you hand her the letter with a box of tissues... saying: mum, you might need these. ???
•
LOL^
well firstly i wanted to say this letter idea is amazing. i think i might use it when the time is right. I was always a better writer than a speaker (i get very self conscious when i speak).
i say you do it. When stuff is written down you arent shoving it down your mothers throat as if you were saying it to her. she can read it multiple times until it finally gets through at her own pace. A very good idea in my opinion.
•
I agree. I think writing a letter is a better idea. It gives you time to really think things through.
•
