08-28-2011, 07:20 AM
I came out right before my 28th birthday. Over the years my family had suspicions since I wasnt out chasing girls and had never had a girlfriend. I live 900 miles away from my parents so I had to come out to them over the phone. My parents are separated so I had to make two phone calls. When I came out to them I said that I loved them and that I needed to tell them some thing.
I wasnt extremely concerned about coming out to my mom. She has always made sure us kids knew that she would love us unconditionally. She is really religious and believes the whole gays are going to hell story. When I first told her that I was attracted to guys she asked me if I was sure. I said yes. It took her some time to warm up to the idea but nothing has changed in our relationship due to me coming out. It was sorta awkward at first when I came out because she said some hurtful things but we are extremely close to one another so we got that stuff ironed out. She even said that she knew I was different from my brothers but didnt want to admit it was true.
I called my father up a few days after I told my mom. I have never had a real close tight knit relationship with my father. He has burned so many bridges in the past. I wasnt seeking my fathers approval when I came out. I figured if he didn't like it then he could go fly a kite. I told him and he was a bit shocked. His exact words were a unenthusiastic "Oh Boy". He asked if I had met anybody yet and I said no. We havent really talked about it since. He knows that I like guys but we dont talk about it. At the same time though he says that he loves me. I cant really complain since both of my parents have been pretty supportive of me.
If or when you come out to your parents and family hope for the best but prepare for the worst. I wouldn't suggest that you tell them about your new found friend at the same time that you tell them that you are gay. If they take the news that you are gay badly then they are going to be looking for some one or something to blame. Unfortunately for some parents that someone to blame is often the new boyfriend. I would wait till they warm up to the idea first and the initial shock has worn off. Take baby steps if you have to.
I wasnt extremely concerned about coming out to my mom. She has always made sure us kids knew that she would love us unconditionally. She is really religious and believes the whole gays are going to hell story. When I first told her that I was attracted to guys she asked me if I was sure. I said yes. It took her some time to warm up to the idea but nothing has changed in our relationship due to me coming out. It was sorta awkward at first when I came out because she said some hurtful things but we are extremely close to one another so we got that stuff ironed out. She even said that she knew I was different from my brothers but didnt want to admit it was true.
I called my father up a few days after I told my mom. I have never had a real close tight knit relationship with my father. He has burned so many bridges in the past. I wasnt seeking my fathers approval when I came out. I figured if he didn't like it then he could go fly a kite. I told him and he was a bit shocked. His exact words were a unenthusiastic "Oh Boy". He asked if I had met anybody yet and I said no. We havent really talked about it since. He knows that I like guys but we dont talk about it. At the same time though he says that he loves me. I cant really complain since both of my parents have been pretty supportive of me.
If or when you come out to your parents and family hope for the best but prepare for the worst. I wouldn't suggest that you tell them about your new found friend at the same time that you tell them that you are gay. If they take the news that you are gay badly then they are going to be looking for some one or something to blame. Unfortunately for some parents that someone to blame is often the new boyfriend. I would wait till they warm up to the idea first and the initial shock has worn off. Take baby steps if you have to.
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