Vile poetry

[ManicReptile21]

I wrote this while having a crisis and nearly killed myself afterword. was written awhile ago- kinda got over it. "vile poetry" is something my friends came up with. Whenever we are angry or so upset and the world is ending- to cope- we write vile poetry. Its like throwing up on a peice of paper- sending all the hatred into the paper. kinda theraputic. but never solves anything. Thought i'd share some of mine.



truth?
you want it? I hate my life. I hate the people i've come to know. I hate my family. I hate the reputation i've gotten. I hate the six walls of my room. I hate the smell of cigerrettes and cheap deodorant. I hate lips that taste like peppermint. I hate this city. I hate waking up in the morning on a queensized bed alone. I hate indecisive jerks who do nothing but lie their way into friendships only to run away when they've realized they never stood a chance. I hate overly sensitive wimps who lack backbones. I hate superiority and authority. I hate choas and disorganization. I hate religions and mass belief. I hate cornrows and blunts. I hate low volume tv. and lest i forget, I hate myself.

Can you handle that fraction?

I love the sound a pigeon makes when its resting. i love the sound the trees make when they shake in the wind. i love creating- not for gain or for self worth- just doing it. I love the smell of fresh flowers. I love the withering of leaves in autumn. I love when someone smells like an indiscernable scent. i love holding hands and getting hugs. I love poetry in its purests and disorganized form. I love french horns and pianos. I love people that arent afraid to sing even when everyone hates them. I love listening to the daily lives of people. i love jumping off high places just to get that rush of wind. i love the smell of fresh baked bread. i love the way sand feels in my toes and grass too. But most of all i love, I love----I love-----hidfhqwekrnwqvenrwqknknvkenvlekrnglwegm.

my heart flutters and i find myself sinking into the sea again. Like a whale giving one last shout before disappearing beneath the rotting sea of lies.

One day i'll sleep. one day i'll be free from humanity. Death please hurry, kill me in some form or way. This world has abandoned me for the last time- and i will unleash a furious and selfish wrath upon my so called equals who treat me like filth. I will rise like a tsunami and leave nothing standing. I wont be shot down anymore by the likes of anyone. This train im on- no more detours of love and reflection. This train will go straight to hell with me!

I'll smoke another cigarette in silence. No one will ever smell my unpurified soul. This thread of hope- snapped. Cast me another line jesus and pull me from this terrible world you have created. I cant cry anymore tears for him. I will never be the same. This world- my world that i have raised from nothingness. Will never ever be the same!

[Bookworm]

Thanks for sharing this.
I have kept several notebooks of similar writings that I wrote about 16 years ago when I was going through bad times. It felt important to me to get it all down on paper and have some form of dialogue with myself, no matter how it came out, as I felt completely alone and that nobody understood what was going on for me in my own little world.
Like you say, It wasn't going to solve any issues I had but the experience of just formulating my thoughts and emotions into some form of prose felt like an achievement at the time.

[KnightShade]

Lewis,

Your poetry is haunting, sad and beautiful at the same time.

I'm glad you're over it.

[ManicReptile21]

cool bookworm- im glad to know we werent the only creeps who wrote stuff like this.

lol thanks knightshade- its nice to hear praise for the most disgusting words i have ever written.

when i wrote"----I love-----hidfhqwekrnwqvenrwqknknvkenvlekrnglwegm." its because i could never bring myself to write " I love HIM" so i smashed on the keyboard and that came out. i was quite furious lol

[Musiq]

This is really quite beautiful and yes, sad at the same time... i tend to do just what some others, and even you, do, writing for me is the only other way aside from singing or rapping that i can truly express myself... dancing does the same, the more pissed or hurt i feel, the more aggressive the dance.

if you ever read any of my poetry, mainly my "Anger Poem" then yeah, it's a good description on how i felt at the time.

It's a good thing for you, that your over it. Yes, while it never really helps, it is at often times, therapeutic.

[Wolf]

Glad to hear that you are over this even though its dark i thought it was good