What can i do to come over shyness?

[Aester]

Just be gentle with yourself and others.

Your age is a difficult one; caught between man and boy. Not to mention your testosterone is RAGING right now.

There's a very specific reason young men are recruited into the Armies of the world at exactly your age. Your blood is being pumped full of testosterone right now and that causes anger and aggression. I bet you just feel like you wanna rip off someone's head, am I right?



Just try some relaxation techniques; like praying, meditating, whatever works for you. Get lots of exercise. LOTS. And cut back on the alcohol. Remember whatever you're mixing that alcohol with is also mixing with your testosterone and the result is a wicked cocktail that runs through your brain.

But don't worry, as you age, you'll mellow out, like a fine wine. The rough edges will be smoother and you'll have depth of character.

Hang in there.

To be honest I rarely gets angry or frustrated, I get annoyed, upset, sad and depressed instead. I do not like to show my inner emotions and mostly as i am around people i am acting like nothing is wrong, when i either feel to break a window and take a piece of glass and cut some ones throat or my own... I don't like it my self when people have an angry outburst, sometimes it can be pretty frighting and i think it lacks of discipline... But i know that it isn't good to store anger and feelings.

Many has told me that i should join the Army and it would do me some good, The only thing i could see that would be positive would be if i loose some pounds, but it mostly stands for everything i am opposing.

I rarely drinks, never been a party animal, and as you say mix it with testosterone and its a bad mix. I don't know why but i often end up in a berserk rage, like at my graduation which i am not so proud of.

I do like to meditate but i must be in the nature and living in the center there is hard to find a nice forest and the wrong kind. Its not so soothing if you do in a building, whether its to noicy and stiff. I often just smoke a joint whenever i feel to frustrated, I know it isn't good for me but it helps alot i would say.

[LateBloomer]

To be honest I rarely gets angry or frustrated, I get annoyed, upset, sad and depressed instead. I do not like to show my inner emotions and mostly as i am around people i am acting like nothing is wrong, when i either feel to break a window and take a piece of glass and cut some ones throat or my own... I don't like it my self when people have an angry outburst, sometimes it can be pretty frighting and i think it lacks of discipline... But i know that it isn't good to store anger and feelings.

Many has told me that i should join the Army and it would do me some good, The only thing i could see that would be positive would be if i loose some pounds, but it mostly stands for everything i am opposing.

I rarely drinks, never been a party animal, and as you say mix it with testosterone and its a bad mix. I don't know why but i often end up in a berserk rage, like at my graduation which i am not so proud of.

I do like to meditate but i must be in the nature and living in the center there is hard to find a nice forest and the wrong kind. Its not so soothing if you do in a building, whether its to noicy and stiff. I often just smoke a joint whenever i feel to frustrated, I know it isn't good for me but it helps alot i would say.

Ok, glad to hear that you're not a typical "angry young man". A lot of us are. It's normal--not desirable--but normal.

Totally agree with you on being against the Army. And that means no disrespect to those who do choose. It's just a question of how we want to spend our time.

Just try to find something that "centers" you, as the Buddhists say. Every now and then we need to "reset" ourselves; get "recentered"; go back "home"; however you put it.

Modern living keeps trying to pull us away from the center and going back to your original question that might make us feel shy and introverted. Maybe we're willing to come out of our shell when we're feeling more at home.

Good luck and let us know how things are going.

[Jay]

I can't speak on your behalf but what I can do is to share my experience with you.

I had a problem with being shy as well due to background history.

I was able to communicate and socialize smoothly with my colleagues, close friends and clients. But I became a bit shy when I stepped outside from my circle. Furthermore I became defensive and shy when being approached by guys. I even walked away from them.

I asked my friends and colleagues what was wrong with me. They gave me the same answer.

• I worry too much with myself
  
• I worry too much with how people think of me
  
• I put others first before me
  
• I try to please people without thinking of my own wellness and need
  

They were right.

I slowly changed myself by doing the opposites. I stopped worrying with myself etc. Now you can see dancing and jiggling my butt happily in the office building's lobby whilst waiting for an elevator to go to my office.

[Aester]

Sounds a bit like me... Like my father and mother has told me that i am often to nice for my own good, and it might explain how i has gotten treated and how i am behaving afterwards

[OsirisGuy23]

I used to be shy as well; due to in part of never having anyone take any notice to me and my talents; I got up the nerve one day to start redefining my self-concept, and I dedicated myself to making myself a better person, and putting myself out there; what ever I lacked in social grace, and understanding of nuances I made up for in intellect....I also i knew how to OUTWIT, STRATEGIZE, and OUTMANEUVER most people, and I won them over with charm, and intellect. Taking advantage of information suggested, volunteered, or "felt out" is a good way to gather information about the people/person you're talking with. Ask questions, smile, disarming acts of kindness are ways to lower people's guard.

I experimented with conversation, I made jokes about myself, and I learned how to make people believe that the "Sun shined out My Ass Everyday! lol" but I'm not effeminate either! I'm just a regular guy who learned how to relate to people around me by starting BROAD in conversation with something as simple as work, plans for the day, or volunteering a little info about myself; people like a person who isn't afraid to be THEMSELVES, in fact they respect it! You don't have to be anything you aren't innately; just be yourself, just be more verbal about it! You'll get it! You're still young, and grasping social nuances and rituals for an introvert is relatively hard, because I bet you're very good at recognizing things at a more analytical level...just take a break from analyzing things and just put yourself out in the open....I promise it'll work itself out in time!