AlephNull Wrote:I know this is gonna sound strange, but I feel like I have both genders in me. Sometimes I wish I was a woman. Other times I think to myself "man I would never wanna give up having a cock!". When I bottom I certainly feel more feminine, but that's not a bad thing
Like you, I'm different from most gay men except that like them I don't want to be a female. Like you, I want to give up genital and make it become "something else", but that is it. I'm happy with my maleness; only the thing down there bothers me.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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That whole the woman is on the bottom, the man is on the top is taken from your predominately straight world that has cast men and women into certain narrow roles.
Yes, there is SOME gender aspects to Top/Bottom roles, but then women have holes, men have pegs, pegs always go into holes, no hole can go into a peg.
The whole top and bottom thing in (and out) of bed is not a 'gender role' being played out, it is social order, social arraignment.
It is called 'dominate/submissive' because one does dominate, and one is submissive. This is a social/relationship aspect, not a gender aspect.
Yes women in straight relationships are most often to be the submissive, and the straight world perceives this and transplants it onto two men or two women, but its not gender identity, it is the hierarchy of social groupings.
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Even though I love being a top with a guy, I also love being a bottom as well. Yet I used to think it was such a feminine role to have being the bottom but as I get older I realize that its really not the case. I think the bottom has lots of control because he can tell the top to go slow or not so fast and so on. I haven't been a bottom for a very long time or even a top so I have lost that experience, yet once I am naked with a guy it just seems to all come back to me.
I think if a guy is very slow and gentle with me that I enjoy being a bottom, yet if he is rough and hard then it turns me off for some reason. Like when I am being a top I like to go really slow and feel each thrust that I make inside him. I love having sex with with other guys and anal sex is just a bonus.
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First of all, allowing another man to cum in your ass isn't feminine, it's pretty fucking stupid...how about using condoms people?
Secondly, being a bottom is a homosexual role a man desires to achieve during intercourse with another man, there's nothing feminine about that. It's just gay, not feminine.
Before, ya'll fems out there bash me, I'm not saying being feminine is a bad thing. I just don't care for being labelled something that I'm not. I'm a bottom, and I'm masculine by nature. Being submissive in bed is just a sex act, not a personality trait.
If you're fem, kudos to you! I'm not hating, I'm just saying.
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AlephNull Wrote:I know this is gonna sound strange, but I feel like I have both genders in me. Sometimes I wish I was a woman. Other times I think to myself "man I would never wanna give up having a cock!". When I bottom I certainly feel more feminine, but that's not a bad thing
I am EXACTLY the same way. I am not a bisexual because I am necessarily attracted to men. I am wholly attracted to women. However, I enjoy sexual relations with men because it allows me to fulfill my feminine desires. I first thought about having sex with men by watching porn. I would watch the woman and I wanted to be her. I wanted to suck the cock and invite in into my body (although I have yet to do the latter).
I seriously doubt anyone who knows me thinks I act feminine in real life. However, when I decide to jump in bed with a man, I am fully feminine in my attitude, but not necessarily in my actions. If that makes any sense at all.
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I both bottom and top, although I prefer to bottom and if we are going to switch it up I make sure I am bottom first then I'll top him because I wanna make sure I get mine first! lol. But I am not feminine acting at all, in fact no one really knows I'm gay at all unless I'm with another guy or I say something about it. One of my closest friends I've known for years asked me yesterday when I knew I was gay and I told him I pretty much figured it out in 7th grade but I didn't really wanna be (at the time) and didn't know how people would react so I didn't act on it until about 4 years ago and I didn't tell any of my friends or family until a year or so ago. He said I hid it well, he had no idea.
But I think I know what you're saying. When I meet a feminine guy I typically assume he is a bottom. I have to stop myself and think, well, no, most people don't think I'm gay and when they find out I am they assume I'm a top, so doesn't make it so. But at least in society it seems if a guy is acting "feminine" then he is considered a bottom. Doesn't really make it so but that's what is assumed.
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revolution theory is not completely correct, nor it is complete.
revolution theory can't explain the existence of homosexuality.
neither can it explain why gay men like bottoming either.
i just want to say that, nature is nature.
we haven't totally understood it yet.
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Quote:revolution theory can't explain the existence of homosexuality.
Strangely enough, according to rat models, homosexuality rising is due to overpopulation because mammals tend to be K strategists, where we over inflate our population exponentially, and then we reach the threshold where our environment can no longer support our population, granted in rats, they started exhibit homosexual behaviors and eat each other...time shall see for us then lol
The idea of bottom is feminine, I don't buy into it, I just think bottoms like to be penetrated t'is all, but can still be as masculine as ever. Simple as that for me.
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I love to top for the feeling of joy it gives my partners. I prefer (and typically have) a versatile sexual relationship, but I can be content with a pillow princess. But there's no way I could be happy with a woman who gives but can't stand to be touched.
Still, I don't think of myself as masculine.
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This topic has been one on my mind as well seeing that the city that I live in the believe that bottoms should be totally masculine and gay men often have a phobia towards feminine guys. It kinda makes me sad that we as a worldwide gay community are fighting for the acceptance of the world when we can't even accept the people in our own community...not even friendship and support. :confused:
So I tip my hat to those that do  mile:
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