I'm sending you a virtual hug. I hope it make you feel better.
There is a saying 'This too shall pass'. Try to hold it in your mind.
Most of the stuff that happens in our lives is fleeting, temporary and is replaced with other 'stuff'.
Yes, life can be frustrating, even down right painful, but no pain lasts forever, no frustration continues without end.
There is the
Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
(The full text can be found here:
http://www.cptryon.org/prayer/special/serenity.html)
Having been in and out of 12 step programs for a decent amount of time, the wisdom bit was explained which made it easier to do the acceptance and courage thing.
The wisdom is to understand that the things you cannot change are all of those things outside of you.
You
cannot change your mom, you cannot change what she does or what she feels.
You
cannot change your peers, you cannot change what they do or what they feel.
You
can change how you feel about what they are/do.
How you do that depends on you. Some times it is easy, just dismissing what a person says and refusing to let their words/actions hurt you. Other times you have to 'play along' and turn the joke around and make it a 'joke'.
Some times is just accepting that they are beyond help and that you only have to deal with them until X time passes, then you can move on to bigger, better things.
One key is to try to always remember that when a person makes fun of you, judges you, condemns you, loath you that they are actually hating/condemning/making fun of something inside of themselves thus you are not the real object of their negativity, you are but a mirror that reflects back to them that which they dislike in themselves.
Yes it is easy to forget that that is what is really happening, because it feels personal.
For all of those 'bad' people who are hurting you in the world there are many like me and others here who want nothing more than the best for you. Sadly, most of us are physically to far away to actually reach out and hug you and tell you its ok.
When things get bad, close your eyes and just imagine one of the 'good guys' are next to your side encouraging you. While we may not be there in person, we are sending out good thoughts in your direction constantly.
You will be ok, I promise you that.
It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but one day you will wake up and you will find its all OK.